Why You Aren’t Getting What You Want

Shoveling Coal in the Boiler Room

Shoveling Coal in the Boiler Room

The one reason you aren’t getting what you want is because you are not clear. All problems ultimately boil down to a lack of clarity.

For example, problems on your team means you are not clear that you are the captain of the ship. While the trouble-maker takes the helm you shovel coal in the boiler room to keep the ship going.

Drama in the office is due to a lack of clarity. Disobedient and unruly children is because of a lack of clarity. Marital problems, family issues and all other relationship problems can be traced back to a lack of clarity. The one with the most
clarity navigates the ship.

If you want to step out of the “boiler room” and navigate your ship you must get clear. Once you get clear, the details and ongoing decisions fall easily into place and everything else is magic.

I learned this lesson unexpectedly when planning my big 5-0 birthday party. In the beginning, I was clear. I wanted to do something with girl friends. That clarity lead to inspired action. We started talking about it and researching the internet for various types of packages. After deciding on Vegas to see Cher and do some shopping, the confusion settled in.

One friend decided she couldn’t go after all. Another said school was starting. Another decided she shouldn’t leave her family and another said she was planning another trip on that date and so on. All of the sudden I lost clarity because I made my focus about what everyone else needed to do instead of what I wanted to do.

The trip became dependent on

–Who could go?
–Who couldn’t go.
–Who changed their mind.
–What price point would work.
–What entertainment to choose.
–Other places we could go

Confusion rolled in like a thick fog. Maybe it should be a road trip to Eureka Springs or St. Louis. Maybe the date needs to change. What if there is an uneven number of people who could go— and so on the drama continued. I’m glad I have learned to float when faced with the fog.

A thought occurred to me: What if I became clear about what I really want to do and then make a decision and let who wants to go, join in.  Once I got clarity that I was going, three others jumped in and said, “I’m in.” It was THAT easy.

DECISION-MAKING BEFORE CLARITY IS THE WRONG ORDER.
When you make a decision before you are clear, you simply change your mind then beat yourself up for not  having any focus.  Poor decision-making is due to a lack of clarity.

When you are clear, decision-making and focus is easy. When you are clear, everything else aligns and happens as it is supposed to.

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4 Responses to Why You Aren’t Getting What You Want

  1. Mike Camoin says:

    Hey Marlene,

    This is terrific! I’m so psyched you reached clarity and are sharing these steps with me and others.

    Look forward to exploring your site and finding clarity — this is too powerful!

    Mike

  2. Brenda says:

    I really need your help in getting “clear” regarding what I want to do with my career. Are you available for an hour or so THIS weekend?

  3. Brenda says:

    Did you receive my last “comment”?

  4. Lynne says:

    Hi Marlene. Question: what if I am clear about a decision but those listening just don’t pay attention/care/forget/ etc. I can’t control others.

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