The Island Called Money

July 13, 2009

I seen an island called “Money” and I want to go.

It seems nearly impossible.

I only have a row boat and two oars.

I have no map.

I see a yacht going in that direction.

I forget that I’m in a rowboat and I try to follow.

The waves splash up in my boat and I almost sink.

I don’t have the resources.

I sing a song called, “Life isn’t fair.”

After the song, I see a Tug Boat who has spotted my problem.

The tug boat offers to let me hook up for exchange of one oar and the shirt on my back.

But I need my shirt and my oar, I protest.

Trust me first says the Tug boat, and I’ll take you to first to another island which will give you what you really want, which isn’t a new shirt or a new oar, or even a motor.

What is it I really want I ask Tug?

What you really want is love, or happiness, or acceptance.  You can have those things now and then when you get to your island called money, you won’t really need the money anymore, and that’s when you can do the most good with it.


Snapshot of Resistance

June 25, 2009

The word “Resistance” is new in the business world.  The definition I use is any negativity or “non-acceptance of what is.”   Here’s an easy visual. Feel free to share it with your team, your boss and your associates.

You and your team are in a rowboat productively rowing to the island called profits. Then, the boat springs a leak.

Rower #1 says, “Who’se fault is it anyway?”

Rower #2 says, “I knew this would happen! This sucks!”

Rower #3 says, “I fixed it last time and I’m not doing it this time.”

Rower #4 says, “It is your fault, Rower #2. I warned you to check out the boat.”

Rower #2 says, “Yes, and I told you that you chose the wrong boat maker to begin with.”

Rower #3 says, “I’m stupid to trust any of you to do what you are supposed to do.”

Rower #1 says, “You are all idiots and this is not fair, but let me fix it anyway.

Then Rower #1 thinks says secretly to himself, “I will fix it but I will never help again. I am not willing to row any harder, I am not willing to give any second chances and I have a right to feel how I feel.

This is resistance.  Productivity is lost. Tempers flair. Fingers point. Instead of plugging the leak, pitching in, working as a team, and looking at the systems, resistance got the best of the rowers. Is resistance getting the best of you? Where would you be without your drama?

Join me for the Release Resistance Training at www.stopyourdrama.us.


The Entrepreneurs Journey

June 3, 2009

I see an island and I want to go.

I’m excited.

I jump into a row-boat with one oar and no map.

The island is farther away than I expected.

I become discouraged.

I see a closer island so I row toward it.

I meet a consultant.

I pay almost all that I have to the consultant who convinces me I wanted to go to the wrong island.

The consultant sells me a map and a blueprint to go to his island.

I now need a motor and a better boat.

I get a loan and purchase the better boat and the motor and head to the consultant’s island.

The blue print is helpful, but I’m not that excited.

On the way I see a sparkling island and it looks much more appealing.

I motor towards it.

I have lost the map the consultant gave me.

The fog rolls in.

Now I’m confused about what I really want.

I’m mad at the consultant.

The motor is acting up.

I row to the closest island.

My needs are met.

There is coconut milk and a native there needs my services.

It’s better than nothing.

Time passes.

I am bored and know there must be more.

I still want my original island.

This time I’m smarter.

I take TWO oars and a map.

I’ll geet the motor fixed eventually.

I’m back in the gap.

(to be continued.)


Is Your Business Profitable and Fun?

February 26, 2009

Are you shoveling coal in the boiler room or navigating the ship? If you have lost yourself and your purpose in the pursuit of success you are not alone.

Here are a few of the signs.

1. You feel overworked, and overwhelmed

2. You have a hard time saying “no.”

3. You suffer from anxiety

4. Drama in the office takes up too much time

5. There isn’t enough time.

6. Your mind is cluttered

7. Your health is suffering

It’s not your fault

We are all in the same boat! After surveying thousands of people over the last three years over 70% of us admit we are way too hard on ourselves, we feel guilty and we have a hard time saying “no.” Our world has become more complex. No longer do we have natural boundaries.

Think about it. Before electricity when it got dark you went to bed. You didn’t have a fax, cell phone and e-mail competing for your attention. Now it’s possible to work 24/7 and in the success quest it’s easy to lose yourself to overwork, comparisons and complete burnout. It is if you are in a little rowboat paddling to an island that is 5000 miles away and no matter how hard or long you row you just row in circles. The illusion is if you had more money it would get better. Or if you just had more time, could work a little harder, or get some cooperation it would magically change.

Here’s the truth:

Your Boat Has a Leak

Your energy is drained and the energy drain is YOUR DRAMA.

You can paddle as fast as you want, but you aren’t going to get to your magical island as long as water keeps filling up your boat.

You can deny the leak, meditate, pray, focus on the positive or hire a coach to improve your rowing abilities, but until you admit you have a leak you are at the mercy of the hole in your boat. You can blame the boat maker but that doesn’t close the hole in the boat.

You can take massive action (LEVERAGE) and still nothing works. Neither a motor, a sail, the wind or a team of rowers can help you get to your island as long as you have a hole in your boat! Until you identify and plug the hole you will struggle.

You’ve no doubt heard me say “Stop Your Drama: Create the Life You Want.” You could easily replace the “Create the Life You Want” part with “Build the Business You Want” or “Have the Fun You Want” or “Make the Money You Want.” The whole “Stop Your Drama concept is about eliminating that which keeps you stuck so that you can receive and create that which moves you forward.

The same principles work in your personal life and in your professional life.

The fact is, you CAN’T create ANYTHING from a place of exhaustion. Until you plug the leak and reclaim your life you aren’t going anywhere expect in circles or at the bottom of the ocean.

DRAMA holds keeps you stuck, wears you out, impacts your health, tarnishes your relationships and contributes to your dissatisfaction, disconnection and frustration. Drama keeps you from reaching your potential. The big question you must ask yourself is this:

Where would you be without Your Drama?

Your answer might surprise you. You could be happy, successful, profitable, peaceful. Instead of office gossip and backstabbing you could be engaging your team and increasing your profits. Instead of fights with your kids you could look forward to time with your family. Instead of people pleasing you could be doing what you want and loving your life.

Register for the Signature Series Calls where we discuss how to plug the leak!


Feeling Resistance? Get in the Shade or Go Home

September 24, 2008

The sun was shining with not a cloud in the sky. “You couldn’t ask for better weather for Cider Days,” I said to my neighbor.

“Yes, I’m glad it isn’t raining,”  my neighbor responded.

Cider Days is a community event where vendors from around the region set up booths to display and sell their pottery, jewelry, photography, paintings and other artistic wares.

After about 10 minutes of walking around,  I noticed how hot the sun was on my head. My hair felt like it was on fire.  Without much thought I heard my voice say, “It’s really hot.”

My neighbor agreed.  “That sun is really bearing down.”

“Yep, there’s not a cloud in the sky to give any relief,” I continued.

Several times I would go to a booth and get under the awning and feel a sense of relief, but every time I stepped out into clear view I felt the heat of the sun and with the sensation the impulse to “COMMENT” on how hot it was.

Get in the Shade or Go Home!

Get in the Shade or Go Home!

Finally a thought occurred and it was almost as if I heard an audible voice saying, ‘Get in the shade or go home…everything else is just drama.”

Because I TEACH this stuff (how to eliminate negativity and drama) I’m sometimes painfully aware of my own resistance to what is.  This may seem minor, but the fact remains that we spend way too much time in drama which is due MIND PATTERNS and a lack of discipline, awareness, and self-mastery.

As a leader  SELF-MASTERY is a tool that will serve you well.   William Penn said, “No man (or woman) is fit to command another who cannot command himself.  I KNOW that I must hold myself up to a high standard if I am to have the “privilege of the platform” in speaking on these subjects at corporate events and association speaking engagements, not to mention my consulting projects.

DRAMA (which I define as any obstacle to your peace or prosperity) can manifest in a multitude of ways,  yet there  is always a level of RESISTANCE with any drama that is present.

When you look at your own levels of resistance without getting attached emotionally you can see that there is always another choice.  See the short list below.

  • Griping about the heat | Get in the shade or go home.
  • Worrying about the economy | Call your financial planner, get a second job or sell something
  • Comparing Yourself to others | Network with those better than you or quit looking
  • Outbursts and Temper Tantrums | Beat a pillow, take a nap or go for a walk
  • Talking endlessly about how someone did you wrong | Confront or forgive
  • Judging your boss, you staff or your co-workers | Ask for what you want or set a boundary
  • Justifying bad behavior | apologize, read some self-help or get counseling

Well, this was fun and I could go on and on. The bottom line is each of us is responsible for creating the life, the relationships, and the business we want. Everything else is just DRAMA. Drama often shows up as a  non-acceptance of what is.

So now I’m setting up a challenge for myself to come live life from the perspective of  “No complaints, no excuses, no regrets.”

This means I have to notice in my own life where I’m failing to master my thoughts, emotions, relationships or physical health. This means I must notice when I am resisting versus choosing consciously.

THE CHALLENGE
My challenge to you is to pick one area of DRAMA  or RESISTANCE
that you are willing to eliminate this week.  E-mail me your commitment!

Better  yet, join the Release Resistance Training and really FREE yourself. It happens on July 1st.


Why You Aren’t Getting What You Want

August 28, 2008
Shoveling Coal in the Boiler Room

Shoveling Coal in the Boiler Room

The one reason you aren’t getting what you want is because you are not clear. All problems ultimately boil down to a lack of clarity.

For example, problems on your team means you are not clear that you are the captain of the ship. While the trouble-maker takes the helm you shovel coal in the boiler room to keep the ship going.

Drama in the office is due to a lack of clarity. Disobedient and unruly children is because of a lack of clarity. Marital problems, family issues and all other relationship problems can be traced back to a lack of clarity. The one with the most
clarity navigates the ship.

If you want to step out of the “boiler room” and navigate your ship you must get clear. Once you get clear, the details and ongoing decisions fall easily into place and everything else is magic.

I learned this lesson unexpectedly when planning my big 5-0 birthday party. In the beginning, I was clear. I wanted to do something with girl friends. That clarity lead to inspired action. We started talking about it and researching the internet for various types of packages. After deciding on Vegas to see Cher and do some shopping, the confusion settled in.

One friend decided she couldn’t go after all. Another said school was starting. Another decided she shouldn’t leave her family and another said she was planning another trip on that date and so on. All of the sudden I lost clarity because I made my focus about what everyone else needed to do instead of what I wanted to do.

The trip became dependent on

–Who could go?
–Who couldn’t go.
–Who changed their mind.
–What price point would work.
–What entertainment to choose.
–Other places we could go

Confusion rolled in like a thick fog. Maybe it should be a road trip to Eureka Springs or St. Louis. Maybe the date needs to change. What if there is an uneven number of people who could go— and so on the drama continued. I’m glad I have learned to float when faced with the fog.

A thought occurred to me: What if I became clear about what I really want to do and then make a decision and let who wants to go, join in.  Once I got clarity that I was going, three others jumped in and said, “I’m in.” It was THAT easy.

DECISION-MAKING BEFORE CLARITY IS THE WRONG ORDER.
When you make a decision before you are clear, you simply change your mind then beat yourself up for not  having any focus.  Poor decision-making is due to a lack of clarity.

When you are clear, decision-making and focus is easy. When you are clear, everything else aligns and happens as it is supposed to.

Sign up for the ezine The DRAMA STOPS HERE where you get resources to master your mindset and manage your team so that you get to your ISLAND?


Desire Versus Decision: Getting to Your Island

January 31, 2008

rowingWhen you really really really want something you have to be willing to get in the boat and row.

Standing on the shore admiring the island and fantasizing about the right boat, a team to help you row, or the winds to blow your sails is mostly wishful thinking.

You probably know people who are one day going to write a book, start a business, lose some weight, start taking dance lessons. Nothing wrong with exploring and fantasizing but if you want to get to the island you have to have real desire.

The way to tell if you are really committed to getting to the island is to see if you are in the boat or not. By your choices,  you reveal your commitments.

Commitment is getting in the boat grabbing the oars. You are so proud of yourself. This time you are really going to do it. You grab the oar of desire and start paddling. Then you realize you are paddling in circles. You wonder if it’s your belief system? Something must be wrong. Your desire must not be strong enough.

So you meditate, pray, you burn sage and chant to the east but still you row in circles. (Don’t you know people who keep working on their beliefs and their desire when all they need is to pick up another oar?)

To get to your island you must also grab the oar of decision. It takes commitment, desire and decision to move forward swiftly. Too often we either forget to pick up the oar of decision or we give the oar away (give your power away) to someone else.

Are you giving up your oar of decision to

  • What other people think
  • What your spouse agrees with
  • What everyone else is doing
  • What your coach says is possible

It’s good to get opinions and seek wise council but eventually you have to decide and row with both oars.

Special thanks to coach Shawn Driscoll who inspired this writing.