The Easy Way to Get More Love

June 3, 2009

Every living thing just wants to be loved.

Some people try to get love by proving they are “right.”

Others try to get love by admitting they are always “wrong.”

Some try to get love by saying “yes” when they want to say “no.”

Some people believe they will finally be loved when they make more money.

Some believe they will get more love when they get the right career.

Some try to find love by getting more education, another title, one more degree.

Some believe plastic surgery will get them the love they want.

Others believe having more toys leads to more love.

The easiest way to get more love is to see yourself as an extension of God, make peace with who you are and where  you are,  and then show more love to everyone you meet.


4 Things You Must Do in a Recession

May 31, 2009

Instead of worrying, blaming the recession, or shrinking, here are four things you must do to change the situation:

1. You must get clear
2. You must be bigger than your circumstances
3. You must stop your drama”
4. You must reinvent

You must get clear
The one with clarity navigates the ship. The problem I see right now is too many people have clarity but it is in the wrong direction. Is your clarity

–I don’t have time

–I don’t have money

–I am not enough?

What if your clarity was of a different kind?

–I have all the time I need

–I am resourceful

–I am enough

You can be clear that you are going to fail or clear that you are going to be successful. What kind of clarity do you want?

You must be bigger than your circumstances
No matter how tough it seems you are not your job, you are not your business and you are not your bad news. You must never confuse where you are with who you are.

You Must Put a Stop to Your Drama
Drama is any obstacle to your peace or prosperity. What is your obstacle? The fight with your spouse, your negative attitude, the worry that keeps you up at night? Did you know that even recalling an angry experience can suppress the immune system for up to 6 hours? You must stop being a victim to your thoughts or to your circumstances.

You Must Reinvent
The idea of being in a recession keeps you a victim as you wait and wait and wait for someone to do something or something to change. When you decide to reinvent, you now become a creator and you make the necessary changes.

I have developed a very easy to use self-study to help you reclaim your power.
Most of the time all we have to do to reinvent is to stop betraying ourselves.
I have found there are 7 ways we self-betray on an ongoing basis. Why not use this “recession” as a time for reflection and reinvention?

The deadline for the early bird rate is May 1st. Hope to see you there!

It’s Not a Recession it’s a Reinvention

March 18, 2009

Recession…that’s the new buzz word. Today I had a revelation.  What we are going through is  not a recession it’s a reinvention.

Reinvention always feels a bit scary as we leave behind things that no longer serve our best interests.

Do we want to let go of the old? No…because we are addicted.

We were addicted to…

  • wastefulness and now we are reinventing to being green.
  • comparison and we are reinventing to collaborate.
  • force and we are reinventing to find our power.
  • apathy and now we are reinventing to find purpose.
  • business as usual and we are reinventing to see new opportunity.
  • “My territory” and we are reinventing to a global economy.

Letting go of addictions never feels good so we think up words like recession to describe the withdrawal of letting go of the poisonous substances that threaten to ruin us in the end.

Being “in a recession” keeps us living in drama as a victim, forever waiting for a rescuer to bail us out.  Being in a “reinvention” helps us to reclaim our power as we become a creator.

The best way to deal with the “recession” is to see it as a reinvention, to take full responsibility and keep our eyes on the prize.

Join me April 2nd in Springfield Missouri for the collaborative effort between The Skinny Improv and Stop Your Drama as we present the show, “Recession or Reinvention: You Choose!”

Why Reinvention is Difficult

February 27, 2009

It always looks easier than it is.  You visualized it. You did your research. You watched others. Then you jump. You decide to start your business. You decide to invest a large amount on re branding, or you make the leap to reinvent a part of your life.

This is what you wanted, so why are you feeling so scared?
Is it your “negative beliefs?” Are you just incompetent?  A victim?

This was some of the “head drama” going on in my mind when I reinvented about 10 years ago.   Now I know that reinvention is difficult. Here is why:

1. Old habits die hard
2. Your brain is wired to warn you of change
3. You have no model to work from

Old habits die hard
Experts say we think over 60,000 thoughts per day and at least 85% of those thoughts are either repetitive or negative. With that in mind, think of how exhausted your mind is when the old thoughts no longer work for you.  When you reinvent you are in essence you  have to think hard to create new habits and new thoughts, therefore it is exhausting which translates to “not comfortable.”

Your brain is wired to warn you
There is this little part of your brain called the amygdala, par tof the limbic system located in the temporal lobe of the cerebral hemisphere. when you go through a big change the amygdala shoots out chemicals that manifest as fear, anxiety and doubt. Again, you will be uncomfortable when you reinvent.

You have no model to work from
If you are breaking new ground…for example you are the first in your family to start a business, or you are building something innovative, you will probably make many mistakes and miss many opportunities. Until you have a clear vision or a model to work from you will experience a fair amount of disappointment, frustration or fear.

Here’s the good news: The subconscious can and will solve any problem if you know how to direct it. Here are some quick solutions:

1. Read books like “The Answer” and “The Master Key System” so you can learn more about how the brain and the subconscious mind works.
2. Join a mastermind where you can tap into the ideas of other successful people who may have different talents and a bigger point of view with no emotional attachment.

3. Remind yourself that when it comes to growth, comfort is not a requirement.

Go here to see more about joining the SYD Mastermind.

Don’t Confuse Where You Are With Who You Are

February 24, 2009

The economy is bad.

You didn’t make enough money last year.

This  year isn’t looking much better.

How will you get clients?

You feel insecure; uncertain.

You wonder if you have what it takes.

DRAMA is any obstacle to your peace and prosperity.  When your thinking or your circumstances become your drama, it is time to CLEAR THE FOG and reinvent.
Reinvention can take the form of an action, a mental shift, an attitude, a decision or a physical transformation.

I want to encourage you to reinvent your identity.

Reinvent Your Identity
One of my favorite authors, Eckhart Tolle says that what you identify with will eventually cause you pain. Do you identify yourself as a business owner; as one who has a lot of money, as a mother, or as beautiful?

Don’t confuse WHERE You are, with WHO you are.

So you feel insecure. So your check book isn’t what you think it should be.  Don’t be tempted to start making up stories about yourself or using the economy to make excuses not to be successful.

Beating yourself up or blaming circumstances is the unconscious path of least resistance.  LIVE above the LINE of blame and resentment and make a conscious choice that you will not define yourself by your mistakes, your learning curve or your circumstances.

When you start to drift into the fog and the murky waters of head drama, take charge immediately. I have a few mantras I have created for you.

  • I am not my drama
  • This is just WHERE I am, not WHO I am
  • This too shall pass
  • I’m  smart, I’ll figure it out

As T Harv. Eker says in his book, The Millionaire Mind,

Rich people are bigger than their problems.
Poor people are smaller than their problems.

Tell yourself the truth. You are a creator.  Creators are resourceful, they ask for help, they are innovative. Creators don’t blame the economy nor do they “wait on the economy” to get better before they act. Creators find a way to learn from the mistakes and circumstances and the result is growth.

You are always bigger than your problems. You will take full responsibility for your situation and one day you will be able to use this experience to help someone else who also needs to be reminded that where you are is not who you are.

It Takes Two to Play Games

February 1, 2009

If you are not careful it slaps you upside the head. The negative comment intended to pull your strings. It’s only a problem if it catches you off guard and without thinking you snap. You use sarcasm. Or worse, you laugh because you won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing the string-pulling worked.

when I did corporate training, several  years ago, a participant said that a co-worker likes to pull her strings by saying things like, “There are people saying bad things about you but I can’t tell you who said it or what they said.”

I told her to remember this tip: It takes two to play games unless you are playing solitaire. Don’t waste your energy on this kind of negativity. You must realign and reinvent a new response.

We came up with some responses that she could try the next time it happened: “Well, some people are also talking about you…I wonder if it is the same person?”

Another option is, “Well, you should know better than to listen to everything that you hear.”

Yet another response is to not take it too seriously by saying, “You know, her opinion is absolutely  none of my business.”

This will throw the other person off guard and stop the game playing.

There are dozens of responses that help you get back your power. You get to be a creator and design the response that best represents the new you.

I Once Was Blind, But Now I See

January 27, 2009

You got offended.  You got irritated. You became frustrated. You dread the conversation. You hide how you really feel.  You walk on egg shells,  say nice things to manipulate, say “yes” when you’d rather say “no.”

You wish he would change. You wish she saw things differently.

You fear rejection. You don’t ask for the sale.

You have an idea…you keep it to yourself.

You feel inauthentic. You feel tired.

If only circumstances were different.

If he wasn’t so stubborn, if she wasn’t so stupid, if you had more courage you wouldn’t feel what you feel.

Here’s the truth. All drama boils down to two things: Who you think you are and who you think someone else is.

I didn’t say “who you are” and “who they are.”

I said, who you THINK they are and who you THINK  you are.  It’s all about the way you see yourself and others that creates harmony or drama.

Most of the time our thinking blinds us so that we cannot really SEE. When you SEE it you can believe it.

SEE yourself differently and notice what happens. SEE  someone else differently and listen for a different response. Try it and let me know what  happens.