The Power of Words: How to Step into a New Truth

August 9, 2010

 If you want to step into a new truth, you must start talking about yourself differently. I recommend The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz to help you create a new truth.  Ruiz says that if you want that if you want to experience heaven on earth you must learn to keep the first agreement: Be impeccable with your word. Ruiz says that the first agreement is actually the most important of the four agreements and the most difficult to keep.

At first glance, keeping the first agreement didn’t so difficult to me.  I keep my commitments. I do what I say I’m going to do and I’m known to be honest and trustworthy, but according to Ruiz, the definition is much broader than keeping commitments and being trustworthy. Unbeknownst to me, I made an assumption about what it means to be impeccable.  I guess I’m not so good at the third agreement either. (The third agreement is never make an assumption.) By the way, the other agreements are: never make assumptions; never take anything personally; and always do your best. 

 Being impeccable, as I understand it now has three prongs: the way you speak about yourself, what you are willing to agree with, and the way you speak about others. Take for example, the silent conversation you have in your head every day.  When you mentally abuse yourself you say things to yourself like “you idiot…” or “You are making a fool of yourself…” or “What will everyone think

if I fail?”  You are not being impeccable because you are not acting in your best interests.

Another example is when you compare yourself. More often than not, the loser is you. “He has a bigger house,” or “She is a better at sales” and “They have a better family.”  In the silent conversation whether through discounting or comparisons, you betray yourself and act against your own best interests. 

So how do you make sure you become impeccable on this first prong? Shakespeare said it this way, “To thine own self be true…” However My friend Sue Janick said it another way when she recently won a Toastmasters speech contest:

We all remember 911 and we worry about terrorism in our nation.  We all want peace on earth, but most of us do not realize that every day we live amongst terrorists. The terrorist is the voice inside your own head that speaks to you daily and says things like, ‘you are so stupid…you are not worthy, or ‘you should have done this instead of that’ and ‘you will never be a success.”  

Here’s the trickiest prong of being impeccable: Don’t agree with someone else’s negative point of view. You can’t be impeccable with your word when you fall under the spell of believing someone else’s reality when it doesn’t serve your best interests. For example someone tells you your idea is no good and you believe them. Now instead of pursuing your idea or tweaking it to make it workable, you are under the spell of believing it is no good therefore you lose your passion.  

Just recently I was able to turn a situation around when I was sharing a business concept  with a trusted friend who is also an experienced business professional.  The friend started talking about how difficult it would be to materialize the idea, how others might not understand the concept and how there was a financial risk and it might take a long time.”  I silently said to myself, “I do not agree. This is one reality and mine is different. ”  Saying this affirmation to myself kept me conscious so that I didn’t fall into a collective agreement about how things are supposed to be.  As a result, the business idea materialized in two days, and there was a nice profit.  In the past I might have focused on the fear and not moved forward simply because I was willing to enter into a “collective agreement” with someone else rather than committing to become impeccable with my word. 

With that said, I want to be careful not to criticize my friend for having a different reality than me because it’s also important to have to have a high regard for others if you want to be impeccable with your word.   If you are tempted to gossip or criticize, then read on to see why Ruiz says that criticism and negativity toward others hurts you just as much as it does the other person.

“If I see you in the street and I call you stupid, it appears that I’m using the word against you. But really I’m using my word against myself, because you’re going to hate me for this, and your hating me is not good for me. Therefore if I get angry and with my word send all the emotional poison to you, I’m using the word against myself.” 

Words have power and magic in them. Words have the power to harm or the power to heal. Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me….and you.

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