You’ve surely had an instance where you left a meeting feeling resentful. Or you’ve had a conversation that caught you totally off guard, or you gave a gift that was not appreciated and you ended upfeeling unappreciated. Or you gave a pitch to a client only to leave feeling totall misunderstood.
You will always think the issue is about the other person, but the reality is, it is always about you and your energy. It is about where you are starting from.
You had a hidden motive, you had an agenda or an expectation you were unaware of.
If you could visualize energy as having a starting place, you can eliminate a whole lot of drama and disappointment. You visualize this and realize that you are always starting from some sort of energy and that energy is either positive or negative.
In other words, before every communication, interaction, or activity, you come from some place. You either come from
- Need for approval
- Intention to manipulate or control
You’ve surely experienced this on the other side of the fence. A friend comes to you and says, I just want to get your feedback, but when you give it, your friend gets angry, feels insulted or tries to convince you to change your mind. What your friend really wanted was approval, not your advice.
The more clear you are about your intention, the less drama you will feel toward the outcome, and the less need you will have to get agreement, change someone else’s mind, or make someone else wrong.
One of my favorite spiritual authors, Gary Zukav says, if you are not sure about your intention before an interaction you will be clear about it afterwards.
Clearing your energy is all about knowing your intention in advance and eliminating the possible integrity gap of having two competing intentions.