Everyone has drama, when you consider the definition, (obstacle to your peace or prosperity.) The things we do to manage our drama, such as being a workaholic, obsessing about success, being overly competitive, when taken to the extreme, is often just another manifestation of the drama of proving your worth.
In any obsession, pattern or drama, there is always a root factor somewhere, which needs to be identified and pulled up. Here is how the drama of unworthiness can manifest. See if any ring true for you. Then, ask yourself the questions to see what you learn about yourself.
Those addicted to achievement and success have a dirty secret: Inside they never quite feel like they are “there.” No matter how much approval, or how many awards they get, there is an empty feeling once the initial high is over. Much of the journey is driven by fear instead of joy. On the outside it looks good. The inside journey is another story. The real question is this: What if you were already successful enough?
Being busy feels good and makes you feel important. Being too busy is also the best excuse for avoiding intimacy and keeping yourself protected. You don’t have to risk vulnerability, and most of all, everyone buys into the story of “I don’t have time.” It’the easiest way to say “no” without risking judgment from others. The real question is this: What would you do if you really did have the time?
You wait to be invited but never do the inviting. You have a story about being too shy, or you believe you are so polite that you don’t want to bother others with your requests. Or you believe the story that others don’t have the time. The truth of the matter is you are too afraid to risk rejection so you wait, and wait and wait and live a very disempowered life. The real question is this: What could be possible for you if you took some initiative?
If you need to prove every point, win every argument and every game there’s a reason.
Perhaps you fear judgment. Maybe being right makes you feel more worthy. The real question is this: What would your relationships be like if you didn’t need to win?
I used to worry about my level of success, until I started going deeper. The question that helped me to move past the drama of needing to be more, was this: What if Success is a Given? In other words, what if that question didn’t have to be answered any more? What if I was driven more by purpose and less by approval?
What if I was already enough and had nothing else to prove? Then, who would I be in this world? That question lead to my freedom.
This question also lead to the title of book, Success is a Given.
I recommend it to anyone who is going through change, or using business, achievement, approval or competitiveness to fill the void.