I often talk about releasing resistance as part 7 of my Stop Your Drama Methodology. So, what is resistance? It is the non acceptance of what is.
Resistance shows up in complaints, excuses and regrets, not to mention mind drama. You can hear resistance when someone says, “yes but…” or when someone talks about what “should” have happened or how life is not fair. Much of the time resistance is a reaction to unwanted change or to the perception of losing control.
Even with this checklist, resistance is still very difficult to recognize.
Most of us are totally unaware of getting trapped in resistance patterns because it’s so natural. Even when opportunities come or good things happen we often resist.
Here’s an example. I had a national speaking engagement and was set up for about 40 people; however my topic was apparently of interest to about 120 people.
Once the meeting planner saw that the room was over-flowing, without giving me much notice, he announced, “We are changing your session to meet in the big ball room.”
My immediate reaction was resistance: “No! We can just move extra chairs in here.”
“There’s not enough room,” he said as he grabbed my computer and headed out the hall and down the elevator.
My resistant thought patterns were
- But…I have done so much work and now it’s for nothing
- I won’t be able to do the games and interactions in a big room
- We should just stick to the plans
- I didn’t prepare for a general session (in other words, it’s not fair to change things without lots of notice.)
As you can see, I was trapped into resistance because I was so attached to the picture I had in my mind. I was also attached to all the hard work of setting up a room for a mini-workshop and immediately I had to switch my mind to general session.
For people who are not speakers, there is a big difference in the delivery of a general session versus a breakout session.
Then, I realized the gift I was being given. I was attracting triple the number of audience members, yet my initial reaction was one of resistance.
Here is a checklist to help you recognize resistance.
- How often do you shoot down an idea with the word, “but”
- What are you so attached to that you fail to see opportunities?
- What could be good about the changes you are facing?
- Are you willing to be flexible to work as a team?
- What do you have to do to enable yourself to see the good even in the chaos of unexpected change?
Join me for the upcoming virtual training on how to release resistance!