Three Ways to Avoid Relationship Drama

Before you know it you get sucked in. You were misunderstood. It wasn’t even your issue and now because you got involved, you are the bad guy. If you want to avoid getting sucked into workplace drama here are three easy tips to keep you drama free.

1. Stand on the Bridge
2. Keep your two cents
3. Get curious

Stand on the bridge
This is one of my favorite exercises to help clients to detach from the heat of the moment. I wish I could claim it as my own, but it comes from author Gary Zukav.  Gary says that when you are pulled in by your emotions it is as if you are in the midst of a raging river. The water (representing your emotions) slap at your face and you feel as though you might get swept away. The next time you are aware enough to feel the heavy emotion threatening to suck you into the current, say to yourself,  “Stand on the bridge…stand on the bridge.”

Keep your two cents
You’ve heard the saying, “a penny saved is a penny earned.”  Earn your peace by saving your two cents. The next time someone invites you to give your opinion about some drama they are involved in, simply say, “I’m keeping my two cents to myself.”  It takes wisdom to realize that 90 percent of the time anyone who is venting and asking for your advice really just wants your support. You can lend support by acknowledging their feelings without offering council or playing referee.

Get curious
Instead of getting drawn into an argument, keep these questions in your back pocket:
1. What are your choices?
2. What if that wasn’t the case?
When you ask, “what are your choices,” the victim response is, “I don’t have any choices.”
If this is what you hear, just nod sympathetically. No advice and no getting sucked into a heavy current of emotion.
If you ask, “what if that wasn’t the case,” and they start an argument,  you know the drill. No advising or getting sucked in.

The reality is this: Awareness is the first step. Without awareness, a person cannot really choose, because responsibility is the RECOGNITION of choice. Until one recognizes his choices he is stuck into patterned responses driven by the subconscious mind.  If you continue to be drawn into any dysfunction including workplace or relationship drama, use these three methods to increase your own awareness and a more healthy relationships.

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4 Responses to Three Ways to Avoid Relationship Drama

  1. “Stand on the bridge” – what a great image, I love it! Thanks for sharing that. And keeping my two cents to myself will make me a rich woman!

  2. Roberta says:

    Thanks for the information ! How should I react when I have helped someone but something else occures which causes another problem – example is a computer problem. What I said was…. if you keep having problems, a professional should be called in .. I don’t want to create anymore problems. So, now that is considered being dramatic and defensive. Please help not to be defensive or actually I need to learn that I am being defensive. I don’t notice it but I’m told that I get that way.

    • stopyourdrama says:

      Often it’s not WHAT you say, it’s How you say it. Try different ways of saying the same thing. Example: ” I want to help you… So let me call in another expert.”. Talk more about what you CAN do and what you DO want, rather than what you CAN’T do and DON’T want. Always position yourself as kind and helpful. Always try to add VALUE to each person you meet. Let me know how it goes. 🙂

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