Gary Zukav, author of Heart of the Soul, says, “if you aren’t aware of your intentions before an interaction, you will be aware of them afterward.” I’m paraphrasing, but think I got the essence.
I can think of no better time to talk about awareness of intention than right now on Valentine’s day.
Sometimes when we give a gift, we do so to get something in return.
We get approval.
we get a surprise.
We get a smile.
We get love.
We get a gift in return.
Sometimes we are unaware of our hidden motives for giving gifts.
A friend of mine (a young at heart grandmother) learned this lesson the hard way.
Grandma always showered her granddaughter Britney with gifts on her birthday. On Brittney’s sixth she opened a gift from Grandma only to exclaim, “I already have that!”
This caused DRAMA for Grandma. Grandma was
- Hurt because her gift was not appreciated
- Angry because she was not acknowledged
- Disappointed because she did not get the reaction she wanted
In addition Grandma adopted a judgmental stance: “Britney should be taught to appreciate what ever is given to her.”
Can you see how hidden agendas eventually surface?
When we give a gift and are disappointed at the response it means there was a “need” attached to the gift.
This Valentines day why not give priceless gifts with no attachment?
- The gift of attention
- The gift of listening
- The gift of appreciation
Most of the time those you love want your presence, not your presents.
When we feel unworthy we often use gifts as a way to manipulate and control instead of honoring the person with the greatest gifts that are priceless.