So often the “leak in our boat” gets larger because we take on other people’s problems. The biggest leaks occur when it’s a family member you try to change. You feel compassion. You know the struggles. You try to fix their problems with your advice or your money but some how the patterns keep repeating.
You falsely believe that if you could just do one more thing or if you could just say the RIGHT thing, then they could have a shift. This is a fantasy that has to be addressed.
When people get ready to change they do. Unfortunately it often takes a large amount of pain to help them get there. It’s difficult to sit by and watch anyone, specifically a beloved family member go through trials, but one thing I’ve learned for sure: I am responsible for my inner work and they are responsible for theirs. It’s really that simple.
You must learn how to honor the person and discount the story. The story is the one you tell yourself about their incompetence. The story is the one they keep repeating to you about how broke they are, how unfair life is and how things should not be. You must honor them as one who is capable and honor yourself as one who sees them differently.
You can’t fix anyone else and to deny patterns in your family that are INGRAINED only keeps you smack dab in the middle of denial.
If you are going through anything like this, I want to encourage you to take a deep breath and learn how to be present and loving without “owning” anyone else’s drama.
Go to the Signature Series Calls to learn more about how the DRAMA TRIANGLE and how to master your energy.