Two Big Productivity Killers

The biggest roadblock to productivity is what I call “resistance.” Resistance is some form of negativity…a non acceptance of what is. Resistance shows up in various ways, but the easiest to spot in the world of business is complaining and judgment.

Complaining is a verbal resistance to a future event or a past occurrence.  Judgment is the negative thought pattern about what should or should not be.

Complaining and judgment are obstacles to productivity because, instead of doing the one or two things you could actually do to solve the problem, serve the customer, or fix the mistake, time is wasted complaining about what who is wrong, what someone should have done and what you didn’t like about something or someone.

Judgment and complaining are time wasters that shift your focus in the wrong direction.

Why People Judge and Complain

So then, why do we judge and complain? We do it to lessen the pain and discomfort that taking responsibility requires of us. To be responsible means to look at the part you played. You didn’t explain your expectations thoroughly, you didn’t confront the problem when it was small, you didn’t speak your truth, you didn’t do a good job leading.

It’s just easier to complain about how inefficient your assistant is, or to judge them for not having the skills you thought they had.

Complaining and judging does nothing to solve your problem but it does make you feel better about yourself. It’s the most acceptable way of going into denial. Here’s an easy visual to bring this issue to light:  Your boat springs a leak, so you take a shot of whiskey and beat your rowing team with your oar. Then you go find someone who will agree with you that you did the right thing. (You vent to other leaders who have the same problems and you conclude that it’s just darn hard to get good help.)

“They” should have checked out the boat maker, they should have avoided the rock. Now you have a reason why you didn’t get to your island, and that reason feels better than to say you didn’t delegate properly and you didn’t provide training or you didn’t do a good job leading.

Your anger and denial does nothing to actually help the situation. You still have a leak in the boat, and you still have incompetent rowers, and that is why complaining and judgment hampers productivity.

Four Ways to Confront Your Drama

Many “spiritualpreneurs”, solopreneurs, New Agers, (those who coach on spirituality or higher consciousness) avoid admitting they have drama, because they falsely believe they should already be “past all of this,” after all, they coach others.

Because of the work I do, I have heard the secrets that you will never hear in public. In addition, I’ve been there too, and I realize the danger of believing you are “above it all.”

Here are four truths to help you confront and even welcome your drama so you can “stop your drama” and move forward.

1. Drama is part of life.

2. Drama keeps you Real

3. Drama is a teacher

4. Overcoming Drama Leads to Freedom

Drama is a part of life.
The definition for drama is “any obstacle to your peace or prosperity.” Unless you are a guru living on a remote mountain spending all of your time in meditation you are going to have some drama here and there. Yes, there will be times when you are in the flow and you think you have it all figured out. You are making money, your relationships are rewarding and your health is excellent. Then something happens and you start to feel unstable. The downward spiral begins. The good thing is that a little drama reminds you of your humanity.

Drama Keeps You Real
When things are going well it’s easy to get “high and mighty.” I’m sure you’ve seen it. Someone of extraordinary status starts boasting, judging and advising, then something happens. The stock market crashes, they lose their business, their spouse leaves them. Instead of gloating, just remember that all of us eventually come face to face with drama. Going through it yourself keeps you real and helps you build your compassion muscle.

Drama is a Great Teacher
Most drama is in the mind. You feel inadequate so you exaggerate your income. You worry that others will judge you because you lost your biggest client. You have a nagging feeling that you are never going to succeed and you are ashamed of the way you look. Could it be there are hidden lessons on self-acceptance or authenticity? Maybe your drama is trying to teach you not to confuse where you are with who you are. Your drama always has rich learning points if you are willing to look inward.

Overcoming Drama Leads to Freedom
When I first started my journey I hated my background. I struggled with my identity for the first three or four years even though I was speaking professionally. Eventually, facing your fears leads to freedom. Here are two questions:

1. What are you hiding?

2. What are you afraid of?

Are you hiding a business or relationship failure? Are you afraid you are not really good enough? Are you afraid you’ll be seen as a fraud? Are you secretly afraid of rejection?

In the beginning, I was hiding parts of myself because I was afraid of the reactions and judgments I believed would happen. Most of it was in my mind.

The biggest fear most of us face is the fear of judgment. Judgment blocks prosperity and keeps you in a constant state of “mind drama.” Once you confront your drama you are free to speak authentically and free to be you.

The new Mastermind is forming, and we will be addressing these issues and more in the 8-step process. If you coach others, you may want to learn these methods as a compliment to the work you do. If you are a business owner, you can use these methods to stop the drama that’s hampering productivity and performance.

Want Clarity,Connection and Truth? Move Energy

Drama is any obstacle to your peace or prosperity. Drama manifests as overwhelm, worry about finances, disconnection, and looking for “the answer” outside of yourself.

Most interesting is the non-physical components of drama which includes the mental, physical, and spiritual energy as well the relationship component: (How you view yourself and how you view others.)

Losing Joy, Clarity, Connection and Truth

When drama is present you always lose  joy, clarity, connection and truth. For example, isn’t it true that you lose joy when you watch way too much TV? The stock market is crashing, people are losing their jobs, relief is no where in sight.

Too much media has you believing you are not enough. You need plastic surgery to keep your youthful appearance.You need to be skinny to be acceptable. Your breath is bad, your arm pits stink, and when all else fails just get some Viagra. (Well…OK, maybe some TV is necessary.) ha ha.

Too much time on the Internet influences you to believe in ideologies not grounded in whole truth. For example, many on the Internet would have you equate spirituality with being a millionaire. (If you aren’t making it big, it must be your belief system or your level of consciousness.) Instead of “rightfully dividing” truth it’s easy to get sucked into half truths and assumptions.

When priorities are out of order you will see an imbalance that looks more like an addiction than a work ethic.  Such is the constant striving to bring in  high six figures and seven figures,  promises to finally give you more freedom, more time, and luxurious lifestyle you really deserve.

The reality is more time is consumed and more individuals  are bleeding money trying to figure it all out, suffering,  losing their  purpose, comparing themselves to others, and losing connection with what is really important to them.

If any part of this resonates with you, here are four tips to help you move energy.

1. Make Relationships a priority

2. Unplug

3. Create Rituals

4. Lighten Up

Make Relationships a Priority

After surveying hundreds of professionals, the the results show that 75 percent of us believe heaven on earth means more time with friends and family. Relationship are one of the greatest sources of energy renewal. The same is true at work. If you are a boss and you want higher productivity, focus on building a great relationship with your staff. High productivity is correlated with good boss-employee relationships.

Click here to see how you can build better relationships and motivate your staff

Unplug

According to Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, authors of “The Power of Full Engagement,” too much TV watching correlates with anxiety and low level depression. In addition, too much virtual reality via the Internet is a big time waster. Take one full day off from the computer and the TV and see how much time you really have. You won’t believe how much clarity comes once you unplug and opt for present reality over the virtual kind, which leads to my next point, create rituals.

Create Rituals

Rituals free up your energy because once you get into a positive habit (think teeth brushing, and morning exercise) you no longer have to think about it. For example, what if  on the first Friday of every month you meet with friends for dinner and conversation. No planning necessary…it’s a ritual.  Consider the idea that on either Saturday or Sunday you keep the computer off and instead journal and meditate. Now you don’t have to spend mental energy “deciding” how to use your time.  HINT: If you find it difficult to keep the computer or TV off for a whole day it’s likely you are addicted. (If that statement made you feel defensive, there’s another red flag of addiction.)

Lighten Up

Have you become so intense on making your mark in the world, meeting other people’s needs, or struggling to survive to the extent that you have forgotten how to laugh? Have some fun, do something crazy. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Self-absorption drains energy and prevents you from taking positive responsible action.

Now that you’ve moved some energy, don’t you feel better? Let me know your successes!

A Truth-Telling Navigational Device to Guide Your Direction

You visualize but it doesn’t materialize.

You take full responsibility.

You have eliminated the negativity and drama.

You have the education and knowledge.

You have studied spirituality.

So why haven’t you made any money?

It’s because you are rowing in the wrong direction.

You keep listening to the coaches and gurus tell you that you have to strengthen your belief.  You must have a big block somewhere. You must have some unseen problem that needs to come to the surface.

So, you whip out the credit card and hope this new program will help you to finally once and for all uncover that blockage…that negative belief.

Maybe you just need to learn how to leverage. Maybe it’s all about understanding how your brilliance can be packaged and systematized to help you create results.

If you don’t know how to “IDENTIFY the GAP” you will keep rowing backwards trying to find the rock that that is keeping you stuck.

All you need to do is to tell yourself the truth. Do you REALLY need to keep searching for some negative belief lurking in the dark or do you need to shift directions?

Let’s say it really isn’t about your lack of confidence or your low self-esteem. Here’s a Truth Telling Navigational Device. Check off the ones that are true for you then you have probably saved yourself lots of drama and thousands of dollars.

You truly don’t have the necessary skills.
You don’t have the credibility yet.
You need to gain more experience.
You actually do need a certification, degree etc. to accomplish your goal.
You do not  know how to delegate.
You do not delegate because you are afraid to invest the money.
You don’t know how to effectively manage a team.
You spend your time making logos and power point slides when you should be marketing.
You are not leveraged.
You don’t even know what leverage means.
You don’t have a system or process.
You don’t even know what systems or process means.
You are more committed to freedom than to working hard to make it happen.

You can probably think of a few on your own, but knowing what is really missing is the first step to getting the help you really need.

Join the next Mastermind at www.stopyourdrama.net

Don’t Confuse Where You Are With Who You Are

The economy is bad.

You didn’t make enough money last year.

This  year isn’t looking much better.

How will you get clients?

You feel insecure; uncertain.

You wonder if you have what it takes.

DRAMA is any obstacle to your peace and prosperity.  When your thinking or your circumstances become your drama, it is time to CLEAR THE FOG and reinvent.
Reinvention can take the form of an action, a mental shift, an attitude, a decision or a physical transformation.

I want to encourage you to reinvent your identity.

Reinvent Your Identity
One of my favorite authors, Eckhart Tolle says that what you identify with will eventually cause you pain. Do you identify yourself as a business owner; as one who has a lot of money, as a mother, or as beautiful?

Don’t confuse WHERE You are, with WHO you are.

So you feel insecure. So your check book isn’t what you think it should be.  Don’t be tempted to start making up stories about yourself or using the economy to make excuses not to be successful.

Beating yourself up or blaming circumstances is the unconscious path of least resistance.  LIVE above the LINE of blame and resentment and make a conscious choice that you will not define yourself by your mistakes, your learning curve or your circumstances.

When you start to drift into the fog and the murky waters of head drama, take charge immediately. I have a few mantras I have created for you.

• I am not my drama
• This is just WHERE I am, not WHO I am
• This too shall pass
• I’m  smart, I’ll figure it out

As T Harv. Eker says in his book, The Millionaire Mind,

Rich people are bigger than their problems.
Poor people are smaller than their problems.

Tell yourself the truth. You are a creator.  Creators are resourceful, they ask for help, they are innovative. Creators don’t blame the economy nor do they “wait on the economy” to get better before they act. Creators find a way to learn from the mistakes and circumstances and the result is growth.

You are always bigger than your problems. You will take full responsibility for your situation and one day you will be able to use this experience to help someone else who also needs to be reminded that where you are is not who you are.

Gifts to Give in a Down Economy

Gary Zukav, author of Heart of the Soul, says,  “if you aren’t aware of your intentions before an interaction, you will be aware of them afterward.” I’m paraphrasing, but think I got the essence.

I can think of no better time to talk about awareness of intention than right now on Valentine’s day.

Sometimes when we give a gift, we do so to get something in return.

We get approval.
we get a surprise.
We get a smile.
We get love.
We get a gift in return.

Sometimes we are unaware of our hidden motives for giving gifts.
A friend of mine (a young at heart grandmother) learned this lesson the hard way.

Grandma always showered her granddaughter Britney with gifts on her birthday. On Brittney’s sixth she opened a gift from Grandma only to exclaim, “I already have that!”

This caused DRAMA for Grandma.  Grandma was

• Hurt because her gift was not appreciated
• Angry because she was not acknowledged
• Disappointed because she did not get the reaction she wanted

In addition Grandma adopted a judgmental stance: “Britney should be taught to appreciate what ever is given to her.”

Can you see how hidden agendas eventually surface?
When we give a gift and are disappointed at the response it means there was a “need” attached to the gift.

This Valentines day  why not give priceless gifts with no attachment?

• The gift of attention
• The gift of listening
• The gift of appreciation

Most of the time those you love want your presence, not your presents.

When we feel unworthy we often use gifts as a way to manipulate and control instead of honoring the person with the greatest gifts that are priceless.

Is it REALLY Your Belief System Holding You Back?

I’m sure it’s happened to you.  You see someone else who does exactly what you do but they make lots of money and you continue to just get by.

A GURU tells you it’s your belief systems.
How much more can you work on your beliefs?

You journal. You meditate. You read spiritual books like Heart of the Soul and The New Earth. You practice yoga.  You TRULY believe in the Law of Attraction. You know the famous quotes about how “What you focus on expands ” and “If you can believe it you can achieve it.” Still, nothing works.

You have invested thousands of dollars in coaching only to wind up disappointed.

Now you are confused. Maybe you don’t have the right market.
You keep changing direction.

Frustration.

Let me give you a huge wake up call:  It’s not your belief systems.

It is your wrong thinking

Let me make the distinction. For most of us spiritual entrepreneurs, we associate “belief systems” with all that I mentioned above.

In contrast “wrong thinking” is what James Allen refers to in his quote: “Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction.“

Pay attention to the words “IN SOME DIRECTION.”

You see, if you keep fixing something that doesn’t need to be fixed…that is the WRONG DIRECTION.

For the sake of argument let’s assume…

You don’t need another degree.

You don’t need another certificate.

You don’t need more yoga.

You know all you need to know.

You are talented, bright and responsible.

You are positive and energetic even in the face of many disappointments.

You cannot close the gap between where you are and where you want to be if you keep going backwards.

You must head in the right direction.

That direction is understanding the difference between content and process.

The ones who make lots of money do so because their systems are in place. They have leverage. They know how to make money when they aren’t even in the room.

Seth Godin talks about this in his blog.  If you already have the knowledge and expertise the reason you aren’t making money is probably not because of your spiritual beliefs or your low self-esteem or your lack of self worth.

The irony is this:  The lack of self-worth clouds your vision WHEN you are headed in the wrong direction.

You can keep working on your self-worth, and “belief systems”  and spend years in therapy, or you can simply start rowing in the right direction and create some processes and systems around your already good-enough content.

That is, if you have the courage to OWN your self-worth, expertise and knowledge. (If not, it probably is your belief system.)  Be sure to tell yourself the truth about this one.

So, by all means, clean up the head drama and work on your spirituality. The inner game is foundational to your success.

But when it comes to the lack of making money it’s more likely that you are simply polishing an apple that is already polished and you need to find a way to market and sell  your apples.

You Can’t Fix Other People

So often the “leak in our boat” gets larger because we take on other people’s problems. The biggest leaks occur when it’s a family member you try to change. You feel compassion. You know the struggles. You try to fix their problems with your advice or your money but some how the patterns keep repeating.

You falsely believe that if you could just do one more thing or if you could just say the RIGHT thing, then they could have a shift. This is a fantasy that has to be addressed.

When people get ready to change they do. Unfortunately it often takes a large amount of pain to help them get there. It’s difficult to sit by and watch anyone, specifically a beloved family member go through trials, but one thing I’ve learned for sure: I am responsible for my inner work and they are responsible for theirs. It’s really that simple.

You must learn how to honor the person and discount the story. The story is the one you tell yourself about their incompetence. The story is the one they keep repeating to you about how broke they are, how unfair life is and how things should not be. You must honor them as one who is capable and honor yourself as one who sees them differently.

You can’t fix anyone else and to deny patterns in your family that are INGRAINED only keeps you smack dab in the middle of denial.

If you are going through anything like this, I want to encourage you to take a deep breath and learn how to be present and loving without “owning” anyone else’s drama.

Go to the Signature Series Calls to learn more about how the DRAMA TRIANGLE and how to master your energy.