Good News Bad News

Waiting out the storm in a hot crowded basement.

Good News: My first “Reinvent Seminar” has 30 participants!

Bad News: The room is not set up like I requested when I arrive.

Good News: I stay calm and get to work and everyone arrives early.

More Good News: It is an overcast day so the shades can stay open to a beautiful view of the city.

Bad News: A tornado was spotted 30 miles away and the wind is ferocious outside.

Good News: There’s a basement in the building.

Bad News: We have to walk down 22 flights and most of us wore high heels.

More Bad News: People are chattering as they walk down the stairs. The person in front of me is spilling coffee down the steps. I judge myself for being judgmental about the chatter, the storm, and the spilt coffee.

Good News: I commend myself for being aware of my judgments and I do a prayer of forgiveness. I feel centered and loving again.

Good News: We arrive at the basement.

Bad News: The basement is hot and crowded.

Good News: I stifle my urge to complain.

Great News: The storm is over and we head for the elevator.

Bad News: Someone was clueless. The storm is not over at all. The elevators aren’t working. I judge myself for thinking someone is clueless and for being mad at the storm.

Good News: The storm really is over. Time to get on the elevator.

Bad News: It’s almost time for lunch and I haven’t even started the seminar.

Good News: Almost everyone is willing to adjust their schedule and stay two more hours.

Learning Points: Life is full of what we describe as good news and bad news. No matter how much you plan, strategize or worry, sometimes there is a bigger plan you must adapt to. When circumstances are out of your control, your best option is to release resistance, because in releasing you learn how to be present and you learn to trust.

US San Diego College Mistake Offers Spiritual Business Lesson

Disappointment always leads to drama, and drama always has a spiritual lesson to teach even in the business world.

Consider the big mistake US San Diego College made when they mistakenly told 28,000 students they had been accepted into their college.  OOPS.

Control Z! Control Z! Resend! (I can almost see the secretary trying to undo what had just been done.)

That’s one of the pitfalls of instant communication and instant gratification. Mistakes happen on a HUGE level.

Are we really ready for all that technology has to offer?

Only if we can learn and apply the many many spiritual business lessons.

1. With more choice comes more responsibility
2. Disappointments are largely due to expectations than reality
3. There are no guarantees
4. Forgiveness is the new stress management tool

With more choice comes more responsibility

In order to be ready for technology we have to become more responsible. It is clear to me we aren’t there yet. We have kids “sexting” each other, we have cyber-bullies and teens committing suicide. This is because we have not balanced choice with responsibility. We have to see any new choice (like the speed and convenience the Internet provides) like a teeter totter: With more choice you must apply equal amount of responsibility for all things to balance. Our kids are definitely not mature enough yet to handle all the choices, and I’m not so sure we adults are either.

Disappointments are from expectations not reality

I’ll never forget the time I thought I had a speaking engagement in the bag. An e-mail came to me that said, “Go right ahead and draw up the contract. It was close, but everyone agreed you are the one.” I had a moment of celebration then went to work.

Right before I started to draw up the agreement I got another message that said “resend.” I made a call and this is what I heard: “I’m sorry, I sent the e-mail to the wrong speaker. It was so close and I got confused.”

Here’s what I learned. Nothing really changed, I just had a fantasy about what was going to happen and then when the fantasy didn’t materialize I was upset. It was a good lesson that nothing is for certain.

There are no guarantees

Why can’t we learn this one? We get married and later are disappointed that there’s a divorce. We invest in the stock market and when it crashes we freak out.  We grow up and lose the youthful body and get wrinkles. Why do we forget that there are no guarantees…even if there’s a contract, a hand shake and a promise?  In the end if you can’t change what happened your best choice is to forgive.

Forgiveness is the next stress management tool

You can make yourself miserable, and you can talk about what shouldn’t have been done and you can find out who is wrong, but in the end it only prolongs your agony.  Even a five minute episode of recalling an angry experience suppresses the immune system for as much as six hours.

My guess is because we are moving at the speed of light, we will also have mistakes happening at the speed of light. They aren’t going to be little ones either. We are seeing evidence of that with the Wall Street fiasco. My bet is the best investment right now is in learning self-mastery skills such as communication, self-awareness and most of all forgiveness.

Clutter is Not the Problem

I used to think clutter was the problem. Now I know clutter is just the manifestation or the “result” of other things

1. Going too fast
2. Lack of planning
3. Belief that you are not enough
4. Belief in scarcity
5. Not telling yourself the truth
6. Not having (or sticking to) a system

Let’s take each one and give a little break down.

Going too fast
When you don’t take time for space, every waking moment is used producing. Without adequate down time you will start to stack and pile. Eventually the piles produce chaos and then you spend time recreating the wheel because you can’t find the original wheel you created three weeks ago.

Lack of planning
Without an end-game in mind, you simply react to either drama or opportunity. Either way you shoot from the hip and make snap decisions. It may be fun but it is sure messy.

Belief you are not enough
I see entrepreneurs do this one all the time. Just one more website. One more article. One more pod cast. Let me do a radio show to get PR. When is it enough? Never…if you don’t honor yourself.  The “I am not enough” syndrome shows up as overwork, too much content, and overwhelming yourself and others with too much, too often.

Belief in scarcity
When you believe there’s not enough to go around you start hoarding.  You keep stacks of ideas which will one day turn into an article. You collect things that one day you may have to sell when the going gets tough. You never get rid of old clothes even when they don’t fit. There are tubes of empty lipstick, empty toothpaste tubes and half used cans of deodorant…just in case you run out you know you have a little you can still squeeze out.

Not telling yourself the truth
You tell yourself little fibs so you can justify your clutter. “I’ll eventually use those articles.” Those old Power Point slides may come in handy one day.   I may want to recycle those 50 web pages that I no longer use.  Yes…and you may one day decide to wear those platform shoes and hip-hugging bell bottoms even though you are 15 pounds heavier and 15 years older, so by all means…keep them.

No system
Most of the time the real reason is we don’t know how to channel the creativity. This calls for real systems, and a way to integrate everything.  Yes, you really can write 12 articles, turn them into a book, then use them as pod casts, then give to others to use on their blogs.  A really good system can help you clean the clutter very quickly.

So now you know, clutter is never the real drama. All that happens when you clear the clutter is just more clutter later on…that is, until you learn how to slow down, plan, believe in yourself and in abundance, tell yourself the truth and create a system you can stick to.

The 4 Deadly Habits that Give MLM a Bad Name

Many who are in a stage of reinvention decide to get involved with network marketing as their transition business. The business model is sound. It is a method of offering a quality product, while building a client base, and recruiting a  team to leverage income. In addition the training offered is a benefit to people new to business.

There are conflicting statistics about the success or failure rate where variables such as prior experience, time dedicated to learning the systems or commitment to earning a living.

All variables and disagreements aside, my purpose here it so share what I believe to be the 4 bad habits that give MLM or network marketing a bad name and why so many new network marketing people get off to such a bad start.

1. Hidden agendas

2. Product versus people

3. Lack of awareness

4. One-up-man-ship

Hidden Agendas

When I was green and starting my speaking business I can’t tell you the number of times a multi-level-marketer invited me to lunch to meet someone who could take my speaking career to the next level. The promise was delivered in various ways: “I think I can introduce you to a company that could use your training,” or “I can show you how you can be speaking in front of thousands in just a few years.”

Once I got to the luncheon it turned into a presentation about the MLM Company and how once I signed up and recruited my people, I would then have my audience whom I could train. Then it was followed up by a promise that once I made X amount of money the national headquarters would surely want me to be their keynote that year.

The  dishonesty was  justified with, “I just thought once I had your attention and you saw the value you would thank me for opening this door.”

The intention might have been good but the reality is this: There is no justification to lying to someone to trick them into your down-line.

The solution: Be transparent about why you want to meet and quit making assumptions about how someone else needs to build their practices. Never make promises that you cannot fulfill.

Lack of Awareness

It’s great to be passionate about your product, but listening to a one-man show of someone talking about how I should sell their vitamin and how it would changes the world, is a huge turn off, especially when I have my own product to sell.

Several times I’ve been a keynote speaker at a small business event and a network marketer will approach me with ideas about how I can make a fortune selling his product because of my large mailing list. The conversation is always one-sided, over-bearing and without any awareness, the marketer is at the front of the line talking about his product while people are in line waiting to buy my book. Hello??

Solution: Take into consideration the agenda of the other people in your presence. Listen more than you talk. Ask a question instead of spouting out statistics about how your product cures cancer, reduces wrinkles or saves you thousands in legal fees.

Product versus People

The great thing about MLM companies is the training and support they provide. You can’t get this kind of training without paying big bucks if you start from scratch. Yes, the systems are in place, and the tried and true methods work. There’s just one big problem: not everyone is as interested in your product as you are.

There are a couple of products I purchase as a distributor. As much as I love the product, I hate to hear from the person who introduced me to the product.

Every question they ask feels like it’s the opening to a sales pitch or just waiting to share a new statistic. No matter what my answer, they are offering me an upgrade or a new product promising to make my life better. (Let me own that it may just be my perception.) Nonetheless, we never have a conversation that isn’t primarily about how her product can make my life better.

In the end, it’s about your vitamins. It’s not about your pots and pans. It’s not about your cosmetics. It’s about relationships.

The Solution: Strive to be interested in the other before making a sales pitch. Master your energy and slow down your enthusiasm until you make a connection. Find ways to help this person first then they will be more open to listening to you about your product.

One-up-man-ship

This is the very worst habit that I have seen with almost every network marketer. Their product is from heaven and their competitor’s product is evil. The reason many people dread talking to the  multi-level-marketer is that no matter what cosmetic, what vitamin or what juice they are drinking, the network marketer tells them their product  is inferior to the one they represent and they can back it up with “research.”

There’s always a Swiss scientist, a Japanese inventor, a neuron-surgeon or Nobel-prize winner who has done research proving why you are an idiot if you don’t switch products. It is exhausting and off-putting to anyone who has to stand hostage to this kind of conversation.

The solution: Quit trying to prove others wrong and quit talking about how other products are inferior. You only create resistance on the part of your potential client. Simply acknowledge that there are many great products and the reason you switched or went with the one you represent. Then put your tongue in the top of your mouth and avoid the need to argue should they disagree.

All things considered, your expertise, your willingness to work, your commitment to being successful, if you will avoid these four deadly habits I’ll bet you will be a top leader in your network marketing company much quicker than the others who have hidden agendas, talk too much, put product over people, and try to prove everyone else wrong.

Want Clarity,Connection and Truth? Move Energy

Drama is any obstacle to your peace or prosperity. Drama manifests as overwhelm, worry about finances, disconnection, and looking for “the answer” outside of yourself.

Most interesting is the non-physical components of drama which includes the mental, physical, and spiritual energy as well the relationship component: (How you view yourself and how you view others.)

Losing Joy, Clarity, Connection and Truth

When drama is present you always lose  joy, clarity, connection and truth. For example, isn’t it true that you lose joy when you watch way too much TV? The stock market is crashing, people are losing their jobs, relief is no where in sight.

Too much media has you believing you are not enough. You need plastic surgery to keep your youthful appearance.You need to be skinny to be acceptable. Your breath is bad, your arm pits stink, and when all else fails just get some Viagra. (Well…OK, maybe some TV is necessary.) ha ha.

Too much time on the Internet influences you to believe in ideologies not grounded in whole truth. For example, many on the Internet would have you equate spirituality with being a millionaire. (If you aren’t making it big, it must be your belief system or your level of consciousness.) Instead of “rightfully dividing” truth it’s easy to get sucked into half truths and assumptions.

When priorities are out of order you will see an imbalance that looks more like an addiction than a work ethic.  Such is the constant striving to bring in  high six figures and seven figures,  promises to finally give you more freedom, more time, and luxurious lifestyle you really deserve.

The reality is more time is consumed and more individuals  are bleeding money trying to figure it all out, suffering,  losing their  purpose, comparing themselves to others, and losing connection with what is really important to them.

If any part of this resonates with you, here are four tips to help you move energy.

1. Make Relationships a priority

2. Unplug

3. Create Rituals

4. Lighten Up

Make Relationships a Priority

After surveying hundreds of professionals, the the results show that 75 percent of us believe heaven on earth means more time with friends and family. Relationship are one of the greatest sources of energy renewal. The same is true at work. If you are a boss and you want higher productivity, focus on building a great relationship with your staff. High productivity is correlated with good boss-employee relationships.

Click here to see how you can build better relationships and motivate your staff

Unplug

According to Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, authors of “The Power of Full Engagement,” too much TV watching correlates with anxiety and low level depression. In addition, too much virtual reality via the Internet is a big time waster. Take one full day off from the computer and the TV and see how much time you really have. You won’t believe how much clarity comes once you unplug and opt for present reality over the virtual kind, which leads to my next point, create rituals.

Create Rituals

Rituals free up your energy because once you get into a positive habit (think teeth brushing, and morning exercise) you no longer have to think about it. For example, what if  on the first Friday of every month you meet with friends for dinner and conversation. No planning necessary…it’s a ritual.  Consider the idea that on either Saturday or Sunday you keep the computer off and instead journal and meditate. Now you don’t have to spend mental energy “deciding” how to use your time.  HINT: If you find it difficult to keep the computer or TV off for a whole day it’s likely you are addicted. (If that statement made you feel defensive, there’s another red flag of addiction.)

Lighten Up

Have you become so intense on making your mark in the world, meeting other people’s needs, or struggling to survive to the extent that you have forgotten how to laugh? Have some fun, do something crazy. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Self-absorption drains energy and prevents you from taking positive responsible action.

Now that you’ve moved some energy, don’t you feel better? Let me know your successes!

Is Your Business Profitable and Fun?

Are you shoveling coal in the boiler room or navigating the ship? If you have lost yourself and your purpose in the pursuit of success you are not alone.

Here are a few of the signs.

1. You feel overworked, and overwhelmed

2. You have a hard time saying “no.”

3. You suffer from anxiety

4. Drama in the office takes up too much time

5. There isn’t enough time.

6. Your mind is cluttered

7. Your health is suffering

It’s not your fault

We are all in the same boat! After surveying thousands of people over the last three years over 70% of us admit we are way too hard on ourselves, we feel guilty and we have a hard time saying “no.” Our world has become more complex. No longer do we have natural boundaries.

Think about it. Before electricity when it got dark you went to bed. You didn’t have a fax, cell phone and e-mail competing for your attention. Now it’s possible to work 24/7 and in the success quest it’s easy to lose yourself to overwork, comparisons and complete burnout. It is if you are in a little rowboat paddling to an island that is 5000 miles away and no matter how hard or long you row you just row in circles. The illusion is if you had more money it would get better. Or if you just had more time, could work a little harder, or get some cooperation it would magically change.

Here’s the truth:

Your Boat Has a Leak

Your energy is drained and the energy drain is YOUR DRAMA.

You can paddle as fast as you want, but you aren’t going to get to your magical island as long as water keeps filling up your boat.

You can deny the leak, meditate, pray, focus on the positive or hire a coach to improve your rowing abilities, but until you admit you have a leak you are at the mercy of the hole in your boat. You can blame the boat maker but that doesn’t close the hole in the boat.

You can take massive action (LEVERAGE) and still nothing works. Neither a motor, a sail, the wind or a team of rowers can help you get to your island as long as you have a hole in your boat! Until you identify and plug the hole you will struggle.

You’ve no doubt heard me say “Stop Your Drama: Create the Life You Want.” You could easily replace the “Create the Life You Want” part with “Build the Business You Want” or “Have the Fun You Want” or “Make the Money You Want.” The whole “Stop Your Drama concept is about eliminating that which keeps you stuck so that you can receive and create that which moves you forward.

The same principles work in your personal life and in your professional life.

The fact is, you CAN’T create ANYTHING from a place of exhaustion. Until you plug the leak and reclaim your life you aren’t going anywhere expect in circles or at the bottom of the ocean.

DRAMA holds keeps you stuck, wears you out, impacts your health, tarnishes your relationships and contributes to your dissatisfaction, disconnection and frustration. Drama keeps you from reaching your potential. The big question you must ask yourself is this:

Where would you be without Your Drama?

Your answer might surprise you. You could be happy, successful, profitable, peaceful. Instead of office gossip and backstabbing you could be engaging your team and increasing your profits. Instead of fights with your kids you could look forward to time with your family. Instead of people pleasing you could be doing what you want and loving your life.

Register for the Signature Series Calls where we discuss how to plug the leak!

You Can’t Fix Other People

So often the “leak in our boat” gets larger because we take on other people’s problems. The biggest leaks occur when it’s a family member you try to change. You feel compassion. You know the struggles. You try to fix their problems with your advice or your money but some how the patterns keep repeating.

You falsely believe that if you could just do one more thing or if you could just say the RIGHT thing, then they could have a shift. This is a fantasy that has to be addressed.

When people get ready to change they do. Unfortunately it often takes a large amount of pain to help them get there. It’s difficult to sit by and watch anyone, specifically a beloved family member go through trials, but one thing I’ve learned for sure: I am responsible for my inner work and they are responsible for theirs. It’s really that simple.

You must learn how to honor the person and discount the story. The story is the one you tell yourself about their incompetence. The story is the one they keep repeating to you about how broke they are, how unfair life is and how things should not be. You must honor them as one who is capable and honor yourself as one who sees them differently.

You can’t fix anyone else and to deny patterns in your family that are INGRAINED only keeps you smack dab in the middle of denial.

If you are going through anything like this, I want to encourage you to take a deep breath and learn how to be present and loving without “owning” anyone else’s drama.

Go to the Signature Series Calls to learn more about how the DRAMA TRIANGLE and how to master your energy.