Eleven Reasons You Aren’t Getting What You Want

Sometimes you just don’t get what you want. Even if you are an action taker, sometimes you feel stuck in the gap. The gap is the distance between where you are and where you want to go. There are a lot of theories on why people don’t get what they say they want. Here are 11 observations. See if any of these resonate and give me your own observations.

1. You don’t really know what you want.

2. You know what you want but you don’t believe it’s possible.

3. You don’t know what is required to get where you want to go.

4. You are not willing to do what is required.

5. You are not willing to ask for help.

6. You keep asking for approval instead of owning what you want.

7. You are not telling the truth about what you really want.

8. You are more committed to something else rather than your goal.

9. Old programming keeps you operating from your subconscious mind.

10. You do get what you want but you never celebrate or recognize it so you don’t get to experience the joy of success.

11. Your expectations are unrealistic given your skills, resources and time available.
(see #3)

What habits to do you see that keep people from getting what they want?

“Right Thinking” Eliminates Mind Drama

One of my favorite books is “As a Man Thinketh,” by James Allen.

Allen says, “Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction.”

When you are suffering (mentally or emotionally) challenge yourself to see the whole picture. Is there one ounce of good in what you are going through? Is there a lesson to learn? Have you become a better person though your trials? Can you help others because of your new insights?

Once you begin to “think right” your suffering will begin to subside.

In my SYD Signature Process, I call it “Telling Yourself the Truth.” Suffering is usually a result of telling yourself things that are not entirely based on fact, or looking at only a part of the puzzle and making a judgment.

What I see with a lot of my clients is the suffering they feel when they compare their growth and/or success with someone else. They see someone who has skyrocketed their business in just two years and they are already on year five and are struggling.

All of us can fall into this trap if we aren’t careful. While it’s good to let someone’s success motivate you, the REAL truth is you never have all of the puzzle pieces.

You don’t know their level of desire. You don’t know what skills they started with. You don’t know their background.

Not that any of that matters. Ultimately you need to keep a clear vision about YOUR goals and tell yourself the truth about what you need to do to reach your goals. I call this “identifying the gap.” Most of the time we just make an assumption and work from feeling rather than planning, organizing, or doing the necessary research.

Get clear about who you are and what you want. Identify where you need to up your game. Keep your eyes on your island. Anything else is just drama, and drama always leads to suffering.

To your mental and emotional health…

Is it REALLY Your Belief System Holding You Back?

I’m sure it’s happened to you.  You see someone else who does exactly what you do but they make lots of money and you continue to just get by.

A GURU tells you it’s your belief systems.
How much more can you work on your beliefs?

You journal. You meditate. You read spiritual books like Heart of the Soul and The New Earth. You practice yoga.  You TRULY believe in the Law of Attraction. You know the famous quotes about how “What you focus on expands ” and “If you can believe it you can achieve it.” Still, nothing works.

You have invested thousands of dollars in coaching only to wind up disappointed.

Now you are confused. Maybe you don’t have the right market.
You keep changing direction.

Frustration.

Let me give you a huge wake up call:  It’s not your belief systems.

It is your wrong thinking

Let me make the distinction. For most of us spiritual entrepreneurs, we associate “belief systems” with all that I mentioned above.

In contrast “wrong thinking” is what James Allen refers to in his quote: “Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction.“

Pay attention to the words “IN SOME DIRECTION.”

You see, if you keep fixing something that doesn’t need to be fixed…that is the WRONG DIRECTION.

For the sake of argument let’s assume…

You don’t need another degree.

You don’t need another certificate.

You don’t need more yoga.

You know all you need to know.

You are talented, bright and responsible.

You are positive and energetic even in the face of many disappointments.

You cannot close the gap between where you are and where you want to be if you keep going backwards.

You must head in the right direction.

That direction is understanding the difference between content and process.

The ones who make lots of money do so because their systems are in place. They have leverage. They know how to make money when they aren’t even in the room.

Seth Godin talks about this in his blog.  If you already have the knowledge and expertise the reason you aren’t making money is probably not because of your spiritual beliefs or your low self-esteem or your lack of self worth.

The irony is this:  The lack of self-worth clouds your vision WHEN you are headed in the wrong direction.

You can keep working on your self-worth, and “belief systems”  and spend years in therapy, or you can simply start rowing in the right direction and create some processes and systems around your already good-enough content.

That is, if you have the courage to OWN your self-worth, expertise and knowledge. (If not, it probably is your belief system.)  Be sure to tell yourself the truth about this one.

So, by all means, clean up the head drama and work on your spirituality. The inner game is foundational to your success.

But when it comes to the lack of making money it’s more likely that you are simply polishing an apple that is already polished and you need to find a way to market and sell  your apples.