How to Stay Happy in a Bad Economy

Marci Shimoff

By Marci Shimoff

How can I be happy when my home is losing its value, my 401k is going down, and the price of everything else is going up?

That’s a question I hear a lot lately. It seems that as the economy becomes more depressed, so do we.

So what can you do about it? How can you build your happiness bank account amidst tough economic times?

Top happiness researcher Robert Biswas-Diener shared some new insights with me during a recent conversation. While writing Happy for No Reason, I often called upon Robert for his expertise. Known as the “Indiana Jones of positive psychology,” his research has taken him to the far corners of the earth — from the Masai in Africa to seal hunters in Greenland to the poor in Calcutta.

Robert and his father, Ed Diener, one of the preeminent scholars in the field of positive psychology, maintain in their wonderful new book, Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth, that our net worth is comprised of much more than our bank accounts. It includes our psychological wealth, our spiritual connection, our health, and the quality of our social networks.

One surprising finding of Robert’s research is that the homeless in Calcutta are happier than the homeless in America, simply because they have stronger networks of social relationships, which help buffer them against the dire effects of poverty. We get more happiness dividends from our relationships than we do from our dollars.

While the value of the dollar may be in flux, the value of your personal relationships and spiritual connection can always gain equity — if you take the time to nurture them. Robert says the way you spend your discretionary money — and time — affects your happiness level.

Here are two things you can do to add equity to your happiness account:

1. Whenever possible, choose experience over material things. Investing $100 to take Tango lessons with your partner will provide more bang for your buck than spending that same money on a new pair of shoes.
2. Spend your money on social activities rather than solitary ones. If you’re going to buy a cup of coffee at Starbucks or splurge for a pedicure, do so with a friend rather than by yourself. Researchers were surprised to find that even introverts are happier when they’re in social situations.

My parents thankfully understood the importance of these concepts. For instance, they have taken our entire family (three generations) on annual vacations together for the last 20 years. I have memories galore of these fantastic holidays — from watching my parents (in their 80s) play a hilarious game of ping-pong for the first time in 50 years to all of us careening through the jungle on zip lines.

Like the TV commercial says, experiences like these are “priceless”…and they add immeasurable equity to your happiness account.

Marci Shimoff is a celebrated transformational leader and #1 New York Times best-selling author. To learn
more of her powerful techniques for establishing deep and authentic happiness and well-being, visit
http://www.HappyForNoReason.com/

Blessings of a Bad Economy

By Krista Michalowicz

For me and so many of my friends, this is the first time in our adult lives that we have experienced such an economic crisis.  All around me I hear stories of cutting back, friends losing jobs, 401K’s vanishing.  We are a people so clearly without control of our financial destinies! …Or so it feels…

In my own family we are cutting back, watching the food consumption (oh, did I mention the 6′3″ teenager I have?)  My kids even watch the gas prices at the pump, and recently cheered when the total was actually under $60.00!!!  Like many parents I look for “teaching moments” with my kids, what better time to learn the value of a dollar?  While driving with my seven year old son recently, I learned just how much of the bad economy vibe he was absorbing.  While discussing Halloween he informed me that this year he would be making his own costume…”to save you money Mommy…”  He then pointed to a cut up piece of construction paper stapled to his shirt.  At first I laughed, and then I told him how sweet and creative he was.(see? good and caring Mother)  After pondering this for a few minutes, two things hit me.  A) Even though he is my third child, I am still amazed at how much they take in.  After all, it’s not as if we are in danger of losing our home…we are not starving…We are being cautious.  and B) This project of his explains all the holes and random staples I’ve been finding in his clothes!  As it turned out, he recycled an old costume…He was a clone trooper, I’m sure no one but me noticed it was three inches to short!

I suddenly realized all the things that had slowly started to change for us.  Without even realizing it, our family time had begun to change.  Like most people I know we had fallen into routines of dinners out, movies with the kids, and shopping as a past time.  To be fair, I can shop a sale like no body’s business!  But as my husband said not to long ago…”Stop saving me money!”  So alas, even the shopping is mostly on the back burner…Whatever is a family of five in the year 2008 supposed to do for fun?  Well, as it turns out…”Making” your kids (even the 6′3″ teenage boy) go for a walk around town can be a lot of fun!  Especially when my husband created a new game, whereby he puts a dollar under a rock, counts to three…and every family member races to get the money first….As I said these are hard economic times!  One person was tackled, two people fell down, one child almost crushed (saved by before mentioned good Mother) and five people were laughing so hard there were actual tears!

It took a simple observation from a small child, to open my eyes to the many blessings happening in my family.   Joy filled my heart as I realized how we were bonding, how we were talking and laughing.  I realized that my children are listening to everything we say…Well, not everything, but definitely the things I don’t think they are listening to!  They are observing the world we live in, and learning from how we react to it as a family.  Our lives have changed for the better.  Not financially at the moment, but in a way that we will carry with us .I now look forward to sitting on the couch with my husband and a glass of wine,  the way I used to look forward to going to the latest restaurant!  What I’ve learned is that my kids actually want us around.  I know that won’t last forever, but I’ve got it now.  I wonder if I would have missed that message from them if we hadn’t had to cut back?

While I am scared for our country, and uncertain of our next few years, I do know this…I will never forget the lessons my children have taught me, what they have showed me they really need, by the way they have embraced this bad economy.

By Krista Michalowicz

Link – http://www.toiletpaperentrepreneur.com/home/index.php

Bio – I have been a stay at home mom for the past 16 years, before that I worked in early childhood education. I am married to an entrepreneur; we have three children and live in Northern New Jersey. I enjoy writing in my spare time.

You Can Have it All by Masha Malka

By Masha Malka

I was asked by one of the reporters to describe how I balance being a mother working from home and having a career. The following article is the result of that discussion.

When my first baby (Veronica) was born I felt that now I had it all – the loving husband and the baby I always wanted and waited so long to have! I just couldn’t get enough of her – I couldn’t wait for her to wake-up so that I could play with her; I wrote her songs and letters; made hundreds of pictures and videotaped her every progress.

When Veronica was two years old something strange happened. As I was hanging out the laundry I felt tears running down my cheeks. And then I felt a deep yearning inside of me for something else, for something that was not a part of my life at the time. As much as I loved my baby and staying home with her, I had to do something else.

So I went back to school. I decided to continue my education through an online university (Capella University) so that I could still be with Veronica as much as possible. I studied while she slept and a year later I got a Graduate Certificate in Teaching and Training Online.

That same year I traveled to Las Vegas to attend a workshop on Accelerated Learning Techniques and became a certified trainer. Four months later I flew to Thailand to attend a Transformational Thinking Certificate Program. By then Veronica was three and a half years old and I was “working” on having another baby.

When I got back from Thailand I was so full of ideas and desire to start a career in training that I decided to postpone having the second child; yet, just two weeks later I discovered that I was 6 weeks pregnant!

“Well”, I said to myself, “Why should a pregnancy and a baby stop me from doing what I really want?!” So I proceeded to design my first workshop and delivered it when I was seven months pregnant. I have to mention that I had a terrible fear of public speaking and it took so much courage and determination not to give up my idea.

After the success of my first workshop I was “too pregnant” to deliver any more but I still felt I had to do something, so I converted my workshop into an e-book (“Discover Your Inborn Genius”), designed a website and 6 weeks later started selling it online. I knew absolutely nothing about e-books or selling them online when I had that idea.

My second baby Julia was born a week after Veronica’s 4^th birthday. Three month later we sold our house and moved to Bulgaria! My husband and I wanted to do Corporate Training for Emerging Markets and decided to be closer to the action. Not knowing anyone there and with two young children, we dived right in to finding clients and developing our first workshop.

I put my desk in the living room so that I would not miss “any action” while I was writing workbooks and doing my research. I also hired someone else to do the house chores so that when I did not work I could just be with my girls.

I still wrote songs and letters to my kids, as well as took lots of photos and videos. My career, though demanding, provided a perfect balance for me.

When Veronica turned six and Julia turned three I felt like my life was getting a little easier. Girls where in school and more and more independent; I was in the middle of writing my second book and there was a big demand for my coaching services. Though I really wanted to have a boy, I decided my family was perfect as it was and that I should not have any more children and give more focus to my career.

Ha! As I said that to my gynecologist he has informed me (after the routine check-up) that I was pregnant!! Completely shocked and realizing that with the third child I might have to let go or postpone quite a few of my dreams I just did not know what to do!

Since I am still not sure “how it happened” (I mean we used the same protection we always used), I thought to myself that this was really meant to be and it was not for me to decide whether this was the right time or not. So I just decided, as with everything else in my life, to take it one step at a time and see what happens.

I did not give up on any of my dreams! Two weeks after my baby-boy David was born, my book was published! I felt like I gave birth to two children that year! The joy and fulfillment was indescribable!

I chose to breastfeed all of my kids; which meant frequent waking at nights and not much power to think or do much. Yet, I had to get back to work – my clients were waiting and the book needed attention.

When I had only Veronica and no career, I used to think that it would be impossible for me to take care of more children. I just could not image how some women did it!

Now, with three children ages nine, five, and one, as well as a rapidly growing career I realize that we greatly underestimate our power and our strength! I am a very petite 5′2″ and 105 lbs woman who was always kind-of jealous of people with lots of energy (since I never seemed to have any). Yet, as I look back I realize how much I have already achieved!

My new book, The One Minute Coach: change your life one minute at a time published by a New York Publishing House – Morgan James Publishing – addresses many areas to assist others in creating balance in both their personal an professional life. I am busy doing what I love and I have created a perfect balance between my career and my family.

My children are growing up understanding that taking care of personal needs is just as important, if not more so, as taking care of other people’s needs. I still work from home and I am a very involved mom – attending all of the recitals, teacher meetings, doing project with my kids and taking them on “dates with Mommy”.

When we let go of our fears; do what we love; and just take it one step at a time – we can have it all!

Masha Malka is an entrepreneur, author, Clarity and Focus guru, international speaker and trainer as well as the mother of 3 children.

Masha has delivered workshops, seminars, written articles and books, and provided personal training and coaching in the field of success and the skill of learning since 1998.

She is the author of The One Minute Coach. This book is a great resource for anyone looking for more balance in their life. Order you own copy of The One Minute Coach within the next 24 hours and receive over $9,000 in bonus gifts from experts around the globe. Go to  http://mashamalka.com/bookpromotion/

Time to Vote by Gary Zukav

Dear Friend,

It is time to vote.  The most important presidential election, perhaps in American history, is approaching.  Voting is your only way to determine what you want, what you stand for, what your life is about. When you “throw away” your opportunity to vote, you vote anyway. You vote for apathy, indifference, powerlessness.

The first time I visited Eastern Europe, experienced the Iron Curtain, and my fear when crossing back into Berlin of the young boys in uniform at the checkpoint with their automatic weapons, the barbed wire, and concrete barriers I realized what the right to vote means, and what it means to be able to travel where I please, say what I feel, and do what I need to do.

None of those freedoms existed in East Germany. Even if we foolishly vote them away in the next election – if we vote for fear, superiority, exclusiveness, powerlessness – we cannot throw away the necessity of voting continually throughout every day, and every hour.

When you are impatient, will you vote for patience or the impatience that you are feeling? Acting on the impatience is a vote for it.  Challenging it (not acting on it) is a vote for patience. When you are angry will you vote again for anger (act on it), or will you vote for understanding and care (not act on it).  What you vote for gets elected.

You are the only one voting in the election.

The candidates are always love and fear. Love runs on the harmony, cooperation, sharing, and reverence for Life ticket. It presents itself as gratitude, caring, patience, contentment, appreciation, and more.

Fear runs on the discord, competition, hoarding, and exploitation ticket.  It presents itself as anger, jealousy, resentment, superiority, inferiority, need to dominate, need to please, and every obsessive thought that you think (such as, He is so stupid; I am so stupid), every compulsive activity you engage (such as workaholism, perfectionism, savior searching), and your every addictive behavior (such over-eating, smoking, gambling, watching pornography, shopping, alcohol, drugs).

Listen carefully to the candidates that are running for election.

Get to know them. Let yourself imagine what it would be like to live in the world they want to create. Do you want to live that world?  Each time you vote, the candidate you choose wins.  You act on your anger or not, challenge your jealousy or not, indulge the need to please or not.  You can loose the ability to vote in a democratic election. It is not guaranteed and it would not exist without the courage and blood that were required to create and maintain it. Don’t throw that courage and sacrifice away.

Love your neighbors enough, including those who have come before you, to honor their gifts.  People like you have died so that you can vote.  Voting in a democratic election is that precious.

You will never lose your ability to vote for love or fear.

It cannot be taken from you and you have no option but to use it. Each moment that you are angry you must challenge your anger or act on it, challenge your impatience or act on it, challenge your sense of hopelessness or let it control you.

Each moment you vote for the world that you want to live in by choosing a loving part of your personality or a frightened part. No one counts your vote.  Each vote creates consequences that you encounter in the intimacy of your own experience.

Only your vote stands between you and the life that you want to live, between joy and pain, between meaning and emptiness.

It’s time to vote.

Copyright © 2008 Gary Zukav

Visit Gary Zukav’s website, http://www.seatofthesoul.com/, for more on this topic.