You Can Have it All

By Masha Malka

I was asked by one of the reporters to describe how I balance being a mother working from home and having a career. The following article is the result of that discussion.

When my first baby (Veronica) was born I felt that now I had it all - the loving husband and the baby I always wanted and waited so long to have! I just couldn’t get enough of her - I couldn’t wait for her to wake-up so that I could play with her; I wrote her songs and letters; made hundreds of pictures and videotaped her every progress.

When Veronica was two years old something strange happened. As I was hanging out the laundry I felt tears running down my cheeks. And then I felt a deep yearning inside of me for something else, for something that was not a part of my life at the time. As much as I loved my baby and staying home with her, I had to do something else.

So I went back to school. I decided to continue my education through an online university (Capella University) so that I could still be with Veronica as much as possible. I studied while she slept and a year later I got a Graduate Certificate in Teaching and Training Online.

That same year I traveled to Las Vegas to attend a workshop on Accelerated Learning Techniques and became a certified trainer. Four months later I flew to Thailand to attend a Transformational Thinking Certificate Program. By then Veronica was three and a half years old and I was “working” on having another baby.

When I got back from Thailand I was so full of ideas and desire to start a career in training that I decided to postpone having the second child; yet, just two weeks later I discovered that I was 6 weeks pregnant!

“Well”, I said to myself, “Why should a pregnancy and a baby stop me from doing what I really want?!” So I proceeded to design my first workshop and delivered it when I was seven months pregnant. I have to mention that I had a terrible fear of public speaking and it took so much courage and determination not to give up my idea.

After the success of my first workshop I was “too pregnant” to deliver any more but I still felt I had to do something, so I converted my workshop into an e-book (”Discover Your Inborn Genius”), designed a website and 6 weeks later started selling it online. I knew absolutely nothing about e-books or selling them online when I had that idea.

My second baby Julia was born a week after Veronica’s 4^th birthday. Three month later we sold our house and moved to Bulgaria! My husband and I wanted to do Corporate Training for Emerging Markets and decided to be closer to the action. Not knowing anyone there and with two young children, we dived right in to finding clients and developing our first workshop.

I put my desk in the living room so that I would not miss “any action” while I was writing workbooks and doing my research. I also hired someone else to do the house chores so that when I did not work I could just be with my girls.

I still wrote songs and letters to my kids, as well as took lots of photos and videos. My career, though demanding, provided a perfect balance for me.

When Veronica turned six and Julia turned three I felt like my life was getting a little easier. Girls where in school and more and more independent; I was in the middle of writing my second book and there was a big demand for my coaching services. Though I really wanted to have a boy, I decided my family was perfect as it was and that I should not have any more children and give more focus to my career.

Ha! As I said that to my gynecologist he has informed me (after the routine check-up) that I was pregnant!! Completely shocked and realizing that with the third child I might have to let go or postpone quite a few of my dreams I just did not know what to do!

Since I am still not sure “how it happened” (I mean we used the same protection we always used), I thought to myself that this was really meant to be and it was not for me to decide whether this was the right time or not. So I just decided, as with everything else in my life, to take it one step at a time and see what happens.

I did not give up on any of my dreams! Two weeks after my baby-boy David was born, my book was published! I felt like I gave birth to two children that year! The joy and fulfillment was indescribable!

I chose to breastfeed all of my kids; which meant frequent waking at nights and not much power to think or do much. Yet, I had to get back to work - my clients were waiting and the book needed attention.

When I had only Veronica and no career, I used to think that it would be impossible for me to take care of more children. I just could not image how some women did it!

Now, with three children ages nine, five, and one, as well as a rapidly growing career I realize that we greatly underestimate our power and our strength! I am a very petite 5′2″ and 105 lbs woman who was always kind-of jealous of people with lots of energy (since I never seemed to have any). Yet, as I look back I realize how much I have already achieved!

My new book, The One Minute Coach: change your life one minute at a time published by a New York Publishing House - Morgan James Publishing - addresses many areas to assist others in creating balance in both their personal an professional life. I am busy doing what I love and I have created a perfect balance between my career and my family.

My children are growing up understanding that taking care of personal needs is just as important, if not more so, as taking care of other people’s needs. I still work from home and I am a very involved mom - attending all of the recitals, teacher meetings, doing project with my kids and taking them on “dates with Mommy”.

When we let go of our fears; do what we love; and just take it one step at a time - we can have it all!

Masha Malka is an entrepreneur, author, Clarity and Focus guru, international speaker and trainer as well as the mother of 3 children.

Masha has delivered workshops, seminars, written articles and books, and provided personal training and coaching in the field of success and the skill of learning since 1998.

She is the author of The One Minute Coach. This book is a great resource for anyone looking for more balance in their life. Order you own copy of The One Minute Coach within the next 24 hours and receive over $9,000 in bonus gifts from experts around the globe. Go to  http://mashamalka.com/bookpromotion/

Time to Vote by Gary Zukav

Dear Friend,

It is time to vote.  The most important presidential election, perhaps in American history, is approaching.  Voting is your only way to determine what you want, what you stand for, what your life is about. When you “throw away” your opportunity to vote, you vote anyway. You vote for apathy, indifference, powerlessness.

The first time I visited Eastern Europe, experienced the Iron Curtain, and my fear when crossing back into Berlin of the young boys in uniform at the checkpoint with their automatic weapons, the barbed wire, and concrete barriers I realized what the right to vote means, and what it means to be able to travel where I please, say what I feel, and do what I need to do.

None of those freedoms existed in East Germany. Even if we foolishly vote them away in the next election – if we vote for fear, superiority, exclusiveness, powerlessness – we cannot throw away the necessity of voting continually throughout every day, and every hour.

When you are impatient, will you vote for patience or the impatience that you are feeling? Acting on the impatience is a vote for it.  Challenging it (not acting on it) is a vote for patience. When you are angry will you vote again for anger (act on it), or will you vote for understanding and care (not act on it).  What you vote for gets elected.

You are the only one voting in the election.

The candidates are always love and fear. Love runs on the harmony, cooperation, sharing, and reverence for Life ticket. It presents itself as gratitude, caring, patience, contentment, appreciation, and more.

Fear runs on the discord, competition, hoarding, and exploitation ticket.  It presents itself as anger, jealousy, resentment, superiority, inferiority, need to dominate, need to please, and every obsessive thought that you think (such as, He is so stupid; I am so stupid), every compulsive activity you engage (such as workaholism, perfectionism, savior searching), and your every addictive behavior (such over-eating, smoking, gambling, watching pornography, shopping, alcohol, drugs).

Listen carefully to the candidates that are running for election.

Get to know them. Let yourself imagine what it would be like to live in the world they want to create. Do you want to live that world?  Each time you vote, the candidate you choose wins.  You act on your anger or not, challenge your jealousy or not, indulge the need to please or not.  You can loose the ability to vote in a democratic election. It is not guaranteed and it would not exist without the courage and blood that were required to create and maintain it. Don’t throw that courage and sacrifice away.

Love your neighbors enough, including those who have come before you, to honor their gifts.  People like you have died so that you can vote.  Voting in a democratic election is that precious.

You will never lose your ability to vote for love or fear.

It cannot be taken from you and you have no option but to use it. Each moment that you are angry you must challenge your anger or act on it, challenge your impatience or act on it, challenge your sense of hopelessness or let it control you.

Each moment you vote for the world that you want to live in by choosing a loving part of your personality or a frightened part. No one counts your vote.  Each vote creates consequences that you encounter in the intimacy of your own experience.

Only your vote stands between you and the life that you want to live, between joy and pain, between meaning and emptiness.

It’s time to vote.

Copyright © 2008 Gary Zukav

Visit Gary Zukav’s website, http://www.seatofthesoul.com/, for more on this topic.

Drama Signs: How to Spot the Red Flags

If only I had a sign I would know what to do. If you’ve ever said this while battling a state of confusion, let me tell you that the signs are all around you. Be thankful for the discomfort because if you notice it, it’s speaking to you.

Otherwise you are like the frog who gets boiled to death because the discomfort crept up on you at such a slow pace you failed to notice.Here are four ways drama shows up in various areas of life.

1. Relationships
2. Workplace
3. Health
4. Clutter

Relationship drama

The reason so many people are surprised when they get divorced is because they didn’t read the signs. They slowly started taking each other for granted, failing to be polite, take each other into consideration until the small trespasses become incivility such as eye rolling, voice raising and down right rudeness all the way to separate lives. The same is true in the workplace.

Workplace

It starts out as gossip, then complaining, to backstabbing to full blown negativity resulting in turnover and absenteeism. When you gripe about your boss, spend time at the water cooler talking about how unfair the new vacation policy is, you only add to the drama. Find a way to change it or accept it, anything else is just drama.

Health

First you skip a day at the gym. Then you have the second helping. Then it’s Ok to occasionally eat a handful of chips while watching the nightly news. Eventually exercise is the exception rather than the rule and second helpings have turned into thirds. Your pantry is full of fattening snacks for your evening television habit. Fast forward three years and you are 20 lbs overweight with high cholesterol. Set up a system of checks and balances so that your habits remain  your servant instead of your master.

Clutter

You feel overwhelmed so you leave the dishes in the sink. You’ll get the mail opened next week. You’ll get to that stack of magazines, or maybe you just need to cancel the subscription. Procrastination leads to clutter and clutter leads to feelings of overwhelm. It’s a vicious drama-producing cycle.

So…look for the signs all around you. You can look for evidence of success or evidence of drama.
The choice is yours. Get my free audio Reclaim Your Power to Create.

Skills for a Successful and Happy Life

From my experience as a speaker and consultant, it seems that striving for success creates much unnecessary drama. The image that comes to mind for me is rowing with all of your might to get to an island that never appears. When do I get there? How do I get there faster? What if someone else gets there first? If there is drama in the boat, getting to the island isn’t going to be much better.

With that in mind, here are five skills that will make your success journey one worth savoring.

1. Define success
2. Seek and experience joy
3. Take care of yourself
4. Master your beliefs
5. Own your choices

Define success
One of my favorite authors, Eckhart Tolle has some great insights about success. He says, “Don’t let a mad world tell you success is anything other than a successful present moment.”  One of his most profound teachings is the concept that you cannot become successful, you can only “be” successful. What if you take the success question off the table and you declare that you are already successful? When you are free to “be” you start living in the flow and you can really experience success versus strive for it.

Seek and experience joy

No matter what your accomplishments or achievements, you can’t experience success if you are unhappy. For two years I have researched happiness and success and I ask the question “what is heaven on earth?”   It is surprising that the number one answer (over 70% of all people surveyed) say time with family and friends is heaven on earth. Vacations is a close second and third on the list with over 50 percent say reading a good book or eating a good meal. The fact is, you can create a little heaven on earth every single day.

Take care of yourself

If you aren’t healthy and happy you can’t contribute at work or at home. When you travel by air, the air, the attendants always tell you “In case of emergency put your own oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else.” It seems counterproductive in our fast paced world, but taking regular breaks including taking a lunch away from your desk promotes productivity. According to Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz in their business book, “The Power of Full Engagement” the body requires rest and recovery every 90 minutes. If you are skipping regular breaks you are not doing anyone any favors. In addition workaholism is an addictive habit that gets you hooked on adrenaline overload which contributes to a reduced immune system and illness.

Master Your Beliefs

The reason you may be working without breaks is because you are listening to the lies you tell yourself.  You have habitually allowed thoughts like, “I don’t have time to take a break, “or “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done”  While there might be a kernel of truth (as there is in every victim story) the reality is, if you died tomorrow the world would go on.

The reality is you need to learn how to say “no” and you might need to delegate. One thing is for certain, if you master your beliefs you can catch yourself when you get sucked into the tribal mentality of “there’s no time” or ” no one will help me.”

Own Your Choices

The best way to “be” successful is to become completely responsible for your choices. This means no complaining, no blaming, no manipulation and no explaining. This means you must be willing to give up a few things. You must be willing to give up the need for others to always agree or understand. You must be willing to quit explaining why you didn’t step up or why something isn’t working. You must also be willing to stop saying and doing things just to get approval.

When you become the master at these five skills you will have plugged the leak, stopped the drama and you will be in the flow and loving your successful life.  Get your copy of Success is a Given Here.

Four Stages of Life Reinvention

Have you ever looked at someone you admired and you wonder “how did they do it?” The natural tendency is to compare yourself and come to the conclusion that you will never be able to have the successes they have had.

This is the wrong mindset because you can’t look at one photograph out of someone else’s

One Photograph in the Album

album and think you know about the whole album. Reinvention is a process that comes
in approximately four stages.

1. Dissatisfaction

2. The Search

3. Questioning

4. Commitment

Dissatisfaction

My journey of reinvention started about fifteen years ago with a feeling of dissatisfaction. I knew there must be something more. At this stage, you search for meaning and purpose and you pray for a sign.  I remember thinking that if I could just get a sign as to what I was supposed to be doing then I could start reinventing my life. What people fail to realize is the signs are all around. Most of us just don’t know how to recognize the signs.

The Search

Dissatisfaction is a sign you have been asking for if you are really ready for change.  After all, human beings are only motivated for two reasons: to eliminate pain or to gain pleasure. Most of us will do more to eliminate pain than we will to gain pleasure; therefore dissatisfaction is a necessary ingredient on the road to reinvention. If you weren’t uncomfortable you wouldn’t be willing to change or to try new things in the search. The search can be fun or scary as you step outside your comfort zone.

Eventually you enter the questioning stage.

Questioning

When your search leaves you feeling empty you start asking questions such as “why am I so miserable?” and “why can’t I figure it out.” Then something magical happens when you discover that if you want a better outcome you have to ask a better question.

This opportunity happened to me through a friend, Marsha, who asked me a great question: “What would you do if there were no limits?  After much stuttering and stammering, I said, I would be a dancer or choreographer.

Marsha said, “That’s not going to happen, you aren’t even taking dance lessons!” After some prodding I said my second choice would be to be a motivational speaker.

Wishing is one thing and doing is another. In order to reinvent you must get to the commitment stage.

Commitment

In the commitment stage you start taking action. Once again you experiment with your life much like you did in the “search” phase, but now you have direction. Once you have direction and meaning, discipline is easy. You do difficult things because you see the value of how your undertaking moves you forward.

I started going to Toastmasters to learn the craft of public speaking. Toastmasters totally changed my life.  For four years I attended meetings and I loved every minute of it.  In addition I went back to college and finished my bachelor’s and master’s degree.

The commitment stage is about the action journey.

There are many myths about reinvention and the success journey. Unfortunately, many well meaning people succumb to false beliefs about how the Law of Attraction works,  and about the power of belief.

To read more about “Reading the Signs” and to get an autographed copy of Success is a Given, click here.

Mind Control For the Bail Out Blues

Well…the big bail out didn’t work and now everyone is freaking out. Goes to show the effect of bad judgment. We collectively get to see what the proverbial “ripple effect” looks like on a global perspective. It’s not just about us any more.

If you haven’t noticed, we are all playing in the same sand box. In USA Today the headline on the front page says,’ As fear, panic spread, global markets dive.‘

Japan’s Nikkei stock average plummeted, Russia, France, UK and Germany felt the  hit too.If we don’t get a measure of discipline, we are all going to spiral out of control.

Keep Rowiing

Here’s a suggestion to keep you rowing in the midst of the tidal waves.

Get Control of Your MIND

It’s time to throw in a dash of discipline with some good old mind control. Letting your thoughts  go haywire with future predictions, worry and doom and gloom only add to the global misery as is evident in the front page of every major magazine. Here are 5 Mind Mistakes to Avoid in Tough Times.

Mind Mistake #1 I have the right to worry

You do have the right to worry but it is a mistake to take advantage of this option.The reason is worry doesn’t contribute to the solution. Worry can make you sick and worry breeds more negativity.  Already USA Today reports stress is up 50-60%, irritability is at an all time high and fatigue and sleeplessness is reaching an all time high as well. Getting SICK does not solve your problem…it only makes it worse.

Mind Mistake #2 This is all the Government’s fault

While it’s easy to cast blame and point fingers, there is a bigger picture to observe. All of us have a responsibility to select representatives to our government who look out for our best interests. The more personal responsibility we are individually ready to assume, the less likely we will be faced with these kinds of problems. Each person must take this situation as a wake up call to be more alert and pro-active. We are all in this together.

Mind Mistake #3 I can’t help how I feel

Although unwanted circumstances influence how you feel, you can shift how you feel. On a physical level, to feel your very best you must take care of yourself, eat healthy, exercise, and get your sleep. On a mental or emotional level you must master your mindset.

Emotions are the body’s reaction to the mind. Your thoughts trigger your emotions, not the other way around. Thought always comes first. Most people are just unaware of their thoughts. The only thing you ever totally have control over is your own sense of well-being. Ultimately you are responsible for your feelings.

Mind Mistake #4 There is One Ultimate Right Decision

Why are so many of us rushing to make someone wrong? Every time someone disagrees with the other side, fingers start pointing and tongues start wagging.  It’s all drama. Our country was built around the option to voice different opinions. We should all be more concerned about mob mentality. Let’s support those working on our behalf and lets look for blind spots in ourselves and others who are too quick to have the final answer.

Mind Mistake #5 When this is finally over I can be at peace

You don’t have to wait to be peaceful. You can be peaceful right now. You can practice releasing in each moment. Gary Zukav says “Stress is the consequence of resistance to your life.” When we resist what is, we create more stress. When you relax into acceptance, you can then reclaim your peace.

Eckhart Tolle says, “Listen to people’s stories, and you’ll find that they could all be entitled “Why I Cannot Be at Peace Now.” The ego doesn’t know that your only opportunity for being at peace is now.”

Take a deep breath. Take control. Ride the storm. Get present.  “The Drama Stops Here.”

Sign up for The Drama Stops Here to get more Drama Stopping Ideas during these challenging times.

Financial Frenzy Drama Got You Worried?

Reclaim Your Power with these Four Steps

Sick and tired of the wall-street-financial-frenzy-bailout DRAMA? It’s easy to let negative news suck you into a whirlwind of fear and frenzy. It’s easy to forget that your number one job in the face of an apparent crisis is to take care of yourself.

You can’t take care of yourself or make good decisions when you panic, think irrationally or let your energy drain with useless chatter about how bad things are.  These four action steps help you reclaim your power.

1. Master your mindset

2. Master your inner dialogue

2. Become a creator

3. Focus

Master your mindset

Get control of your mind instead of letting it control you. Excessive exposure to the daily news is unnecessary, as is obsessive conversations about the current situation. Think about how much productivity and wasted time is due to fear and projection about future doom and gloom.

1. Set a time to catch the news, and then go about your life.

2. Refuse to get into mind games about future problems

3. Become an observer instead of a participant.

4. Practice deep breathing, exercise and other positive outlets

Master your inner dialogue

Everyone has an inner dialogue. Scientists say we think about 60,000 thoughts per day and over 85-90 percent of them are either repetitive or negative. Probably most of us are experiencing a background noise that sounds something like this

• I might lose my job
• What if I can’t retire when I want
• Our government is corrupt
• They better get something done

And so on it goes. None of these thoughts are constructive.  A good way to start gaining power is to master your communication. The best advice is to create a mantra so that you can rewire your brain.  Here are some good ones.

• All of my needs are met
• This too shall pass
• Nothing lasts forever, not even problems

Completely eliminate statements such as “that’s not fair” or “this always happens to me.” Instead, face what is and make wise decisions. When someone else starts a conversation that triggers your fear, you can get drawn into the addiction or you can simply say, “the drama stops here,” and you can refuse to spiral down.

Become a Creator

Victims feel that they have no choices, while creators always look for the opportunity, the lesson or the options. To learn how to respond rather than react, recognize your choices so that you are prepared for any unfortunate situation.

1. Talk to your financial planner

2. List the areas where you would be willing to scale down if need be

3. Register to vote

4. Brush up your resume

5. Make a list of your skills, talents and experiences

6. Make a list of all of your blessings and opportunities

Being proactive makes you feel a sense of control instead of a sense of panic. In addition, reminding yourself of all that you have already created for yourself is a great mood booster and a reminder that you can create what ever is necessary to move forward.

Focus

Keeping your attitude in check is good for your health and increases your personal productivity. Too much negativity produces stress, anxiety and illness. Even recalling an angry experience for as much as five minutes, suppresses the immune system for as much as six hours. Imagine what happens to your attitude and your health when you watch CNN all day long and hear nothing but negativity.

Attitudes of appreciation increase circulation and promote regular heart rhythms. Which do you want? Only you can choose what you focus on.  Here are some tips for focus.

1. Instead of complaining, ask for what you want or make a new decision.

2. Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want.

3. Instead of projecting into the future, focus on the now.

4. Separate fact from fiction

5. When researching, listen to all points of view rather than being closed minded.

Instead of following mob mentality, focus on getting the facts. It’s easy to listen to someone you admire, whether it’s Rush Limbaugh, your preacher or your dad. Be your own authority and look at all sides of an issue so that you don’t get off focus and swept up in the tidal waves of negativity. Remind yourself that there may be a bigger picture than what is immediately apparent.

Get a free handout with this article (found on the front page of the Stop Your Drama Website). The article includes The 5 Mind Mistakes that will keep you stuck!

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How do you know if DRAMA is manifesting in your life?  Click here to get a free e-lesson about how to identify and stop drama.

Looking for Purpose? Six Re-Invention Steps to Success

Recently I spoke at a conference using the title of my book, “Success is a Given: Reading the Signs While Reinventing Your Life.” As would be expected, many in the audience were in the midst of reinvention, looking for purpose, reinventing their career or entering a new decade of life. These life transitions, I call “the search.”

Four major themes emerged though personal conversations:

• I don’t know my purpose
• I just turned 40 and I want something more
• I’m scared, frustrated and overwhelmed
• I don’t know what to do

It’s easy to let the drama of life-reinvention trigger unhealthy conversations that keep you farther away from your goals. The communication we have with others is always evidence of the emotions going on underneath.

I understand the emotions because I traveled a similar path about 10 years ago. I was getting ready to turn 40, I had worked in a factory all of my life and I was searching for a purpose and a new career. Once I actually quit my job, the world was open to possibilities…in fact, too many possibilities which is just as frightening as none at all.

You go from being marooned on an island with no escape to complete freedom floating in the middle of the ocean with no map, too many islands to choose from and just a couple of oars! It’s easy to let your attitude slip into negativity and desperation as you row in circles trying to chart your course.

Here are six easy tips to reinvention success.

1. Slow down

2. Get some structure

3. Create an inner purpose

4. Experiment

5. Master your communication

6. Start where you are

Slow Down
Slow down and take a breath. This is not the time to panic. When you are searching too hard, you mistake activity for productivity. One woman said she was spending 10 hours a day searching on the computer to find just the right opportunity. I asked her if she was willing to go inward and listen to her voice. Just because you are busy doesn’t mean you are rowing in the right direction.

Get some structure
To increase your personal effectiveness and productivity create some boundaries. If you are completely out of work, set up a schedule for yourself. Get up at the same time every day. Set up specific times for job searching, working out, and create daily routines. Creating boundaries for yourself makes you feel in control instead of lost at sea.

Create an Inner Purpose
Don’t allow searching for your life purpose be the big drama that’s keeping you stuck. Too many people are looking for some big magical ah-ha moment that signifies they finally got their purpose. Although some people claim to have such a moment, the reality is that life is lived in small segments of the “now.” Looking for the big purpose can be like trying to row to an island 5000 miles away. At some point it just gets exhausting and you never truly arrive.

Look first for an inner purpose and then you can always be on purpose no matter what you do to make money. For example, when I was in the midst of my life-purpose drama, I could not for the life of me figure out how to leave my factory job. I came up with an inner purpose called ICARE which stood for “Improving Communication and Relationships Everywhere.” Then I knew that was my north star for everything I did, even while working in the factory.

Experiment
Give yourself a break. Do you really need to have all the answers right now? Life is about enjoying the journey. Give yourself some time to experiment. Try volunteering for a project. Take up a new hobby. Get to know yourself. If you are going through a re-invention such as divorce or career change, it’s important to experiment with life to know what you want to create for the next phase.

Master Your Communication

Master Your Communication
Watch the language you use while in the stages of reinvention. Be mindful of sounding like a victim.
Negative self talk becomes negative public talk. Change your attitude and your words will naturally follow.

One woman I talked to kept talking about “I don’t know what to do” and “the reason what I want isn’t possible is because…” No wonder she was feeling lost. My advice to her was to say instead, “I’m in an exciting period of life reinvention and I’m so fortunate to get to try new things, experiment with my life and create exactly what I want for the next phase.

Start where you are.
Life gives you opportunities in each moment to be purposeful. Don’t fall for the illusion that you need some fancy career or big life calling to be purposeful in your life. I remember creating a mantra while I was still at Kraft Foods. Instead of complaining about the job I would say, “Someone has to make cheese.” If you can be on purpose in the mundane, your presence will lead you to the bigger purpose you are searching for.

What myths are you believing about re-invention and success? Get your free copy of The 3 Success Myths and 4 Lies by clicking here.

The Drama Stops Here: Get in the Shade or Go Home

Here’s how my drama showed up when I went to the Cider Days festival a couple of weeks ago. It was a beautiful day and not a cloud in the sky, when I noticed how hot the sun had become.

Cider Days is a community event where vendors from around the region set up booths to display and sell their pottery, jewelry, photography, paintings and other artistic wares.

The sun was shining with not a cloud in the sky. That’s when I noticed how hot the sun was on my head. My hair felt like it was on fire.  Without much thought I heard my voice say, “It’s really hot.”

My neighbor agreed.  “That sun is really bearing down.”

“Yep, there’s not a cloud in the sky to give any relief,” I continued.

Several times I would go to a booth and get under the awning and feel a sense of relief, but every time I stepped out into clear view I felt the heat of the sun and with the sensation the impulse to “COMMENT” on how hot it was.

Get in the Shade or Go Home!

Finally a thought occurred and it was almost as if I heard an audible voice saying, ‘Get in the shade or go home…everything else is just drama.”

Because I TEACH this stuff (how to eliminate negativity and drama) I’m sometimes painfully aware of my own drama tendencies.  This may seem minor, but the fact remains that we spend way too much time in drama which is due to a MIND PATTERN that we just automatically fall into because we have not developed  the discipline and awareness of Self-Mastery.

I’m really into SELF-MASTERY right now because I believe as William Penn said,
“No man (or woman) is fit to command another who cannot command himself.  I KNOW that I must hold myself up to a high standard if I am to have the “privilege of the platform” in speaking on these subjects at corporate events and association speaking engagements, not to mention my consulting projects.

In the Ezine, I mentioned that DRAMA manifests in a multitude of ways.  Here is a short list I came up with.
I put the DRAMA in bold and the solution in Italics. Some of these have been my challenges and others I have been more of an observer.

• Griping about the heat | Get in the shade or go home.
• Worrying about the economy | Call your financial planner, get a second job or sell something
• Comparing Yourself to others | Network with those better than you or quit looking
• Outbursts and Temper Tantrums | Beat a pillow, take a nap or go for a walk
• Talking endlessly about how someone did you wrong | Confront or forgive
• Judging your boss, you staff or your co-workers | Ask for what you want or set a boundary
• Justifying bad behavior | apologize, read some self-help or get counseling

Well, this was fun and I could go on and on. The bottom line is each of us is responsible for creating the life, the relationships, and the business we want. Everything else is just DRAMA.

So now I’m setting up a challenge for myself to come live life from the perspective of “The DRAMA Stops Here.” This means I have to notice in my own life where I’m failing to master my thoughts, emotions, relationships or physical health.

THE CHALLENGE
My challenge to you is to pick one area of DRAMA that you are willing to eliminate this week. Share it with the community on the blog!! I fully support you in saying “The Drama Stops Here.”

Low Self-Esteem Is a Distraction

Low Self Esteem is a Distraction that keeps you from reaching your potential. It’s the little voice reminding you of your flaws, telling you how unworthy you are and making you feel inadequate while you try to learn a new skill, reinvent your life or make a significant change.

When you are preoccupied with thinking about your flaws you  can’t live to your strengths. Low self esteem is definitely a distraction, yet it’s easy to feel vulnerable when you are in a stage of growth.

I’ll never forget my first networking event when I was fresh out of the factory and wanting to be a professional speaker.  I went to a professional conference in Florida and I kept sitting by the brightest and best. Instead of looking at that as evidence that I was moving up in the world, I worried about my lack of education, my business skills and my inadequacies.

The self-esteem distraction keeps you from being who you really are. Instead of enjoying networking with business friends, you keep to yourself because you are afraid of judgment.   Instead of going to the pool party you stay home because you worry about how you look. Instead of being authentic with your friend you keep your disagreements to yourself…you say “yes” when you’d rather say “no” and you live your life trying to keep everyone else happy.

Low self esteem affects your abilities as a leader, impacts your sales and your ability to deal with disappointment. Low self-esteem even affects business owners and entrepreneurs. Instead of trying to grow your business you fear the risk or you worry what others will think if you fail.

The Self-Esteem Distraction is the Head DRAMA that keeps you a prisoner of your own mind instead of creating the life or the business you want.

As you can see, much of the time low self-esteem is all about me, me, me. Thinking about yourself too much is a distraction. The biggest thing I learned early on, is to talk about them and strive to be interested rather than worrying about being interesting.  This reminder not only improves your self-esteem, it makes you more interesting to others and it’s a great customer service tool.

Here’s a Resource for you if you want to examine and/or improve your confidence level. It is written by a new friend of mine, Sasha Xarrian and it is a downloadable  PDF easy to read e-book. (You don’t even have to opt in. It will make you re-examine some of the habits and beliefs that might be getting in your way.

Hope you enjoy it.